The Jacob Family Journey

ADOPTION, AS AN INSTITUTION, BECAME NECESSARY AS A RESULT OF THE FALL

2010-06-12T00:19:00.006-05:00

I am always thinking about adoption. Out of necessity, certainly, it comes to mind considering our family makeup. But also out of concern for the children available for adoption and those families built using adoption. So many topics within the subject are controversial. Even adoption itself is controversial. There are many who think adoption is wrong, even within the Christian community. They think that children are to be raised by biological parents, period. If that can't happen (as with "true" orphans), they need to stay within the extended family, but must never go outside the culture. In the Christian community there are those on the fringe who think that adoption invites generational sin into a family, from the biological family of the adopted child. Whatever side people are on, they are generally firmly set in their opinion.

What I have realized is that the institution of adoption is a necessary result of the fall of man in the Garden of Eden.

God, Himself, envisioned adoption. It was His plan for redemption for the fallen human race. We are told in Scripture that God "predestined us to be adopted as sons" from the beginning of time. Adoption is His idea. It is His way of bringing those who recognize that they need Him as a Father into His family. In adopting us, we are not second class citizens. We are co-heirs with Christ. Adoption is the beautiful way God chose to build His family.

It is also a beautiful way for us to build ours.

However, it is only because we are fallen as a result of sin in the garden that we need God to adopt us, and that children need to be adopted in order to have an earthly family. Think about it. Why are children available for adoption?

First, there are "true" orphans; those whose parents have died. Death entered the human picture with the fall in the garden. Until that time, death was not a part of the plan for Adam and Eve and their decendents.

Second, children are available to be adopted because a woman suffered rape or incest, resulting in the birth of a child they don't feel able to parent. Again, because of the fall of man.

Then, after that, we have a number of different reasons, some the same, some completely different in each situation. We have people who have biological children that they do not feel they can parent, and they decide to relinquish their parental rights to their child. The most common situation is when two unmarried people, in their lust, make a decision that results in an "unwanted" pregnancy. Yes, our sinful, fallen nature is at work. Many times, the mother is young, immature, not financially able to care for herself, let alone a child. A decision must be made about what will happen to that child. If abortion is not a choice (praise God when that happens), these people must decide what is best for them and the child.

Sometimes, a child becomes available for adoption after the child is older and has been through very difficult times in their family. The parents are determined to be unfit and the child is taken from them. Usually for neglect, abuse or other traumatic situations for the child. Oh, the fall of man is hard at work in these situations.

Then, there is the child available for adoption because an adoptive family determines that they, for a variety of reasons, can't parent this child. This is the most controversial. Sadly, these children are usually the product of past home lives so terrible that have caused them to become terrors to their new families. If you can't see the sin nature at work in this situation, you aren't being realistic.

As I consider each of these situations, I realize that there is no one way to view the relinquishment of children. There is no right or wrong answer that will work in every situation. No one can sit at a desk with the family's information and say relinquishment is sinful, or the right answer. Every relinquishment is different resulting from different circumstances.

I have known stories of the relinquishment of adoptive children that, were I in their shoes, I have a feeling I would make the same choice. Other situations, I am pretty sure are the result of selfishness. Thankfully, I am not their judge. It's too hard a job for anyone but Christ.

What I do know, is that there are relinquishments made by young, single women, that are good decisions; both for the child and the mother/father. There are also some that are made with complete selfishness. The mother or father is mature enough and financially able to accept the responsiblity for their choice that caused this child to be created. Their reasons for relinquishing are simply a lack of desire to give up dreams, or the financial resources that raising a child would bring. No choice is automatically right or wrong; the circumstances and the hearts of those involved are going to be judged by the only one able to make that call.

The same goes for relinquishment of adopted children. I know many think this is always wrong. I used to be one of those. But, I do know that if relinquishment can be the right choice for a biological child, that there are times that it is the right choice for an adopted child. We are products of a fallen world. Somewhere along the line, a poor decision was made, or parents died, and a child was left without a family. This fact alone leaves stereotyping out of the question. The scars of this may leave a child unable to be cared for by any but those capable of handling their particular needs. If newborns should be relinquished in certain situations to have their needs met, then certainly it can be true in the case of an adopted child.

Whether the adoptive parents relinquished with their own desires in mind (i.e. the desire for less trouble/difficulty, more peace or a more compliant child, etc), or the very real needs of the child to have a home where they can succeed and be cared for in a more complete way, is for them to know, and something for which they will be accountable to God. Not me.

The fact remains, though, that every single child deserves a home and family that loves them unconditionally, as God loves us. That was His plan for us in bringing us to His family, and that remains His plan for children here on earth. That is why He COMMANDS us to care for orphans. Yes, they deserve to be loved. They are treasures whether they are difficult, or not. They are each unique and special. They are a gift.

Wow, has it really been two years??!!!

2009-11-09T12:11:00.006-06:00

Well, I can't imagine anyone is following this blog anymore, but I decided that, just in case someone still is, I should tell you how it is going.

We had our homecoming with Zach 2 years ago, on October 24, 2007. I simply can't believe the time has gone so quickly. Zach's transition has not been without its struggles, but I have to say that it has gone so much better than we ever hoped or dreamed it would.

To recap, he was in an orphanage for the first 4 1/2 years of his life. This was followed by 2 years in a less-than-ideal foster home and 1 1/2 years at a boarding school for 600-800 other orphans. The more we learn about the boarding school, the less we like what we are learning.

On paper, Zach should have had Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD). He was a prime candidate for it, having spent so much time at the beginning of his life in the orphanage. Not to mention that the boarding school was just another glorified orphanage. Sure, he was in a foster home, but it was not a good situation. We had very little to go on when we recognized that God was calling us to this precious little boy. His referral information came with 1 1/2 pages of mostly dry information, giving us little to use in making a decision. And, actually, as we found out later, it was somewhat fabricated, as well. But, that didn't deter us. We knew what the experts said about out-of-birth-order adoptions. We knew that most people would not adopt an older boy, especially when they had a younger girl at home. But, we also knew this is what God wanted for us and we chose to walk through the door God left open.

God had made it perfectly clear He wanted us to bring home this particular child, in a way that He hadn't done with the other children we were interested in adopting. In Zach's case we asked questions we didn't expect China to answer; we expected answers that would lead us away from him; we had people telling us not to consider him because he was already set in his culture, etc, etc. God took all these concerns and said they didn't matter. China answered us, with answers that brought us to Zach, rather than farther away; our concerns for an older child or out of birth order adoption were dismantled by godly counsel from godly friends; and, most importantly, God opened the door wide to bring him home.

With the other children we chose, God either closed the door by not allowing us to be matched with them, or He took it out of our ability to even request that we be considered to be their parent. One little boy in particular, was recently brought up by an aquaintance of mine accusatorily as proof that Steve and I were not willing to accept adopting a child with RAD. However, in this case, the phone call from our social worker telling us about their findings on his abuse was the same phone call that told us they were no longer the placing agency. They had moved responsibility for his placement to another agency better able to handle his situation. Our paperwork was with Bethany. God took it out of our ability to choose him. Choosing not to go out of your way to pursue adopting a particular child is not the same as saying "no" to adopting that child. As a matter of fact, we never had the opportunity to say "YES!" We simply didn't go out of our way to pursue him at extra expense and added paperwork. We were following God in each stage of our adoption. When He closed doors, we honored that. When He left them open, we obediently walked through. Again, on paper, Zach should have had RAD, yet we answered a joyful "YES" when God asked us to parent him.

I don't share all that to prove that we are better than anyone else. I simply don't want anyone to feel that I am championing the adoption of children we would not be willing to parent ourselves. Steve and I have always been willing to step out in faith and parent the children God chose for us, whomever that was or is yet to be. This is a calling for EVERYONE! If God is calling you to parent a child through adoption, you MUST say "yes." If you don't, quite simply, you are out of His will and walking in fear of His calling.

Despite all of this potential for major difficulties when he arrived home, he has shown no signs of RAD, and has adjusted beautifully. I don't know why God, in His wisdom, chose to keep us and Zach from dealing with RAD. I don't know why others who have adopted (and even those who have not!) have had to struggle, painfully, with this condition. That's not for me to understand. All I know is that, when you are faithful to God's calling He will be there with you in that calling. He will provide what you need to get through it. He will lead you to the help you need. He will provide the support and means to handle whatever comes with that calling. The calling to adopt is not one to shy away from, and not one of which we need to be fearful. The children are too precious for us to be afraid to give them the love they deserve.

Not everyone will experience such a relatively easy transition. By no means! But, just as there are no guarantees it will be easy, there are also no guarantees it will be difficult. Most adoptions fall somewhere in between. And, I should add -- MOST PARENTING EXPERIENCES, WHETHER ADOPTED OR BIOLOGICAL, will be somewhere in between the easy and the extremely difficult. There are no guarantees in parenting. Period.

The difficulties we are currently having with Zach stem from schooling. During his 8 years in China, where they assumed his cerebral palsy affected him cognitively, he was told over and over that he wasn't able to do things. We are still trying to work out what is truly difficult for him, and what is simply a believed difficulty for him. They are drastically different. I am not sure when we will have answers. Maybe not for years. But we will continue to work with him and his teachers to discover the truth.

His personality is so sweet. He is compassionate. He is helpful. We recently had one of his AWANA leaders share that Zach has come such a long way, spiritually, in the 2 years he has been here. This man had tears in his eyes as he shared that when they asked for someone to pray for the kids that were out sick, Zach volunteered and offered a prayer that was "like his mother" who has been a Christian her entire life. This is the most important part of parenting Zach. Whether we get answers on his academic abilities or not, we desire to raise a godly boy into a godly man. One whose character shines wherever he goes.

I think we are on the right track.

My heart for encouraging the adoption of older children

2008-07-09T14:39:00.004-05:00

It is 3:45 am and I can’t seem to get the older children waiting for their families off of my mind. God won’t let me. They are on His mind, too. How about yours?

What comes to your mind when you think about adopting an older child? Are you afraid to think about it? Do you think that it is not something you can handle? Do you have younger children and think that you can’t adopt out of birth order? Do the stories of difficulties others have had in their older child adoption come to mind? All of these things came to my mind before we decided to request our 8 year old son one year ago. I have been there. I understand.

We have had Zach home for 8 months now. It’s long enough to know that he is a precious gift. It is not long enough to know that we are past any possible difficulties that may still come our way. But, no matter what we have in store, we have been blessed and will continue to be blessed by our willingness to lay our decision at the sovereign feet of our Savior. The world would tell us that it is not wise to adopt an older child, especially an older boy. The world would tell us it is not wise to bring home a child older than our youngest. The world DID tell us “you and Steve are going to have nothing but trouble.”

Thankfully, we listened to the wisdom of our loving and merciful God, instead, and said “YES!” when He asked us to make Zach our son and brother. God’s wisdom is more compassionate, more loving and more complete than that offered by the world. The world only looks at the past and projects statistics to make us doubt the value of these older children and our responsibility for them as Christians. God gives us a future and a hope, and the knowledge that we can do all things through Christ who strengthens us.

We could have let the fear stop us. We could have let fear for our youngest daughter get in the way. We could have listened to others as they proclaimed nothing but doom and gloom over our decision. Knowing that this adoption could cause struggles for the children we currently had, we could have decided that we didn’t want to “do that to them.”

As I consider what we “did to them,” I can honestly say that we opened their world to a life of obedience to God. We took a step of faith and answered God’s call with the only answer we could give, and we did it with joy, not fear. We taught our children to see that God has a plan and a purpose for our lives that sometimes goes against what the world says we should do, but that God’s desires for us should come first. We taught them to value people more than things or “conventional wisdom.”

God wants to set the lonely in families (Psalm 68:5-6). Who could be more lonely, or more in need of a family, than an orphan? This verse does not exclude older children, or older boys. This verse does not say that the families into which He will set them must only have older children, if any. This verse is all inclusive of every lonely child, regardless of their circumstances, age or gender.

Adopting an older child is not for everyone. I am not implying that it is something everyone should do, nor can every family handle an out of birth order adoption. And I am not trying to imply that our story will be yours. Every child and every adoption is different. My plea -- my heart's cry -- is for more people to consider whether or not God is calling you to one of these precious children. The called and chosen of Christ are those who need to recognize their inestimable worth. If we don't, who will?

If God is calling you to be open to adopting an older child, please honor Him by looking into it. He wants you to get past the fear and trust Him wherever He takes you. Please request the files of some older children, look into their eyes, and understand that they simply want a home and a family to love them unconditionally. God will be with you. He always is. He loves you too much to give you more than you could handle. And He loves these children so much He is asking His chosen to care for them. Will you, if that is what He wants from you?

"Your hair is like..."

2008-04-16T18:25:00.003-05:00

So, we were sitting in church last Sunday. Zach and Katie needed to be separated. We put Katie on the right side of Steve and Zach on the left side of me, hoping that being separated by two parents would be more effective than the one-parent-separation of the week before (which was painful).

Zach was feeling affectionate and wanted me to wrap my arms around him, which I did gladly. He was smiling up at me and talking away before the service began. Then, he puts his arm on my shoulder and runs his hands through my hair. Keep in mind that this is hard to do because my hair is getting so long (still short, but...) that I need much more hairspray to keep it in place. He gets this cute look on his face and continues to feel my hair. Very touching. Then he sweetly looks at me and says:

"Your hair is like a tree."

I laugh; Steve laughs; the woman in front of us (a friend, thankfully) laughs. I realized that, when you put that much hairspray on your hair, it can feel a little like BARK!

Yes, his English is coming along!

Just had to share a laugh. More pictures of Zach now riding his bike without training wheels (YEAH Zach!!!), coming. And, by the way, when you put a lot of pressure on really strong training wheels, they do eventually get warped! We were so proud when he took off after the first try without them.

Praising God for wonderful news!

2008-04-07T18:40:00.002-05:00

I am stunned. Zach was scheduled to have his eye surgery to correct strabismus (crossing of the eye) this Thursday. We went to see the eye doctor today for a pre-surgery exam and he no longer needs the surgery! Praise God! When we visited in January, his eyes were crossing at 9 degrees. They are now at under 5! She said she would consider this outcome a "successful surgery" had he had the surgery. The doctor can't explain it. She said this just doesn't happen in a child this age -- maybe an infant, but not an 8 year old. She suggested that it could be due to better nutrition, but I know that it is because so many people have been praying for Zach! We couldn't be happier, and neither could Zach. He was so excited. When we got outside, he gave me a "high 5" and wanted to talk to everyone, even the church secretary, and tell them that he didn't need surgery, his eyes were better. He thanked people for praying for him (which is, in itself, a huge praise!).

God is good, and He does answer prayer.

Also, we received some wonderful news about Zach's MRI results. Apparently, there was an interruption in the development of his brain one or two weeks after conception (amazing what they can see), which caused a cleft that corresponds to the left sided weakness from which he suffers. There was nothing new to report and we have no new "issues" we need to manage! Hallelujah! All praise goes to a loving and merciful God who does listen to our prayers.

In Christ,
Cindy

Zach had his MRI today...

2008-03-26T13:27:00.004-05:00

Zach had his MRI today to determine if his cerebral palsy was caused by trauma or a stroke in utero, and what parts of his brain were affected. He did well. We will find out in a week or so what the results are.

Since it is important to know about any possible metal implants or fragments in a body before an MRI (I don't think they can do it if there is), I had to answer questions about this. But I obviously couldn't answer questions about whether or not he had ever suffered an injury from a metal object. I also could not answer questions about the eye surgery Zach told us he had in China. We had nothing on his paperwork about it, but when we told him he was having eye surgery here, he described in detail a surgery he had in China. So,when they asked about eye surgery, all I could say is "he says he had it, if that's true, I don't know what they did." So, they did x-rays of his face to make sure they had not implanted any metal.

Then, realizing that he spent 8 years in an orphanage, they had the interpreter ask Zach about some scars that I had noticed on his body. This brought up stories of injuries suffered at the hands of other children. The interpreter had difficulty telling me what he was saying because she was upset, and Zach obviously didn't want to talk about it. They stopped after discussing two scars and, again, since we could not be sure that he had not been hit or cut with a metal object, they did x-rays of the rest of his body, to make sure there were no fragments left over.

This really brought home, once again, the unknowns of the lives older adopted children have lead before. It makes me so sad for the children who still don't have a family to protect them from the realities of orphanage life. It makes me sad that I can't answer these questions for him as completely as I can answer them for my oldest two, and even Katie who was brought home at 10 months old. It makes me sad that he has these memories. Children don't belong in orphanages. They belong in families.

Caution, here's my soapbox addition:

What is more important to you? Is it more important for you to have a luxury car, or for a child to have a loving family? Did you know that the difference in cost between a luxury car and a relatively nice car is approximately the cost of an adoption, which could help a family who couldn't otherwise afford to adopt a child?

Is it more important for you to have large savings/retirement account for your future, or for people with nothing to have a future to hope for?

Do you need lots of fancy furnishings? Or is it more important for your neighbor to have food and clothing?

These are real choices we make when we open up our checkbook. I am not condemning decisions we all have made that benefit ourselves. I just think it is important for us all (me included!) to recognize more often the good that can be done for Christ when we make decisions about what to do with our money.

Christians are called to love their neighbor as themselves. If we are truly honoring this command, then our neighbors needs would be met before our wants are met. Certainly this is very hard to do. It is not something we can do perfectly. But we should at least try. Of course, we can spend our money on ourselves. Scripture doesn't say we can't, and I am not implying that we can't. But our desire and our priority should be reaching the lost and giving them the hope we have in Christ. Having nice things is certainly not a crime. But we do run the risk of failing to see that we have built up too many treasures here on earth that moths and rust will destroy, that could instead have been stored up in heaven. Christ warned us against this.

Yes, God can bless us when we honor him. But I find nowhere in Scripture that says he blesses us materially so that we can glorify ourselves. We should use His blessings to HIS glory, not ours. After all, when he places material blessings in the hands of Christians, isn't he putting back in His own hands? As Christians, we should be more excited about reaching others with the message of the gospel and offering eternal hope, something Christ would be excited about, rather than having lots of expensive things. That is what it means to "delight in the Lord." The health and wealth heresy has crippled the message of Christ because there are so many material blessings spent to the glory of individuals, leaving so much kingdom work undone. As John Piper said in a sermon I heard last year: God is NOT glorified when Christians drive expensive cars and wear expensive suits.

All of the heresies that offer us excuses to spend so much on ourselves are leaving children in orphanages. Our indifference is causing some of them to live lives we would not wish on our worst enemy.

Happy Easter!

2008-03-25T12:08:00.020-05:00

He is RISEN! Hallelujah!

Well, we just returned from our Easter vacation to the Smoky Mountains of Tennessee. We had a great time, despite the various illnesses that plagued us before and during our trip. In the weeks before we left, Eliza was sick, then Katie, then Maddie, then Katie again. Katie suffered from a fever for 6 days prior to leaving, ended up on the prenisolone and was REALLY crabby. But, by Friday when we left, we were no longer nebulizing her and we no longer gave her the steroid. She was the only healthy one during the trip. I was on antibiotics for a strep infection diagnosed on Wednesday. Steve developed an awful cold. Maddie awoke in the middle of Saturday night with a fever of 101 and Zach woke on Sunday morning with a low grade fever that rose during the day. He slept for most of the day Monday.

Our cabin was beautiful and the scenery was breathtaking.

My mom and sister drove down separately and ended up in Jellico, TN on Saturday night with a bad alternator. They came on Sunday just in time to say goodbye to my brother and his friend who had driven up from Atlanta for the weekend. It was good to see them and we were sorry they had to leave so soon. On Tuesday, we experienced the challenge of finding a doctor to see Maddie, who had developed severe ear pain on Monday night. Apparently, there is only one MD in all of Pigeon Forge, and he is a sweet old man who went there to "retire" 17 years earlier. The town obviously needs him. He told us how he waited in line for a tattoo while in the Marines, but the wait was too long so he gave up. He was going to put "Louise," his high school sweet heart on his arm, but ended up marrying Margaret! Anyway, we now had antibiotics for Maddie's ear infection and I achieved a milestone on Wednesday -- I did not have to take anyone's temperature the entire day! We were definately on the road to recovery!

Despite all the illnesses, we had fun. We drove through Cade's Cove in the Smoky Mountains

(too worn out to do any hiking...), went horseback riding, swam in the pool in the basement of our cabin, relaxed in the hot tub on the deck, went to Dixieland Stampede, and generally enjoyed the time away.

Zach was having a great time with all these new adventures. He loves swimming and looked so proud on his horse, Sugar. But, sorry to say for my mom and sister who are big outdoors people -- Zach didn't seem too impressed with the scenery.... But, he was impressed with the trucks and other machinery that we passed or saw on the mountain roads. He is all boy!

The kids were all pretty good travelers. We had movies for them to watch which is certainly a life saver. My, have times changed from when I was a kid traveling by car across the country with only books to occupy my time!

Zach's language has continued to progress beautifully. Although, there are certainly times that I realize I am the only one who can translate what he says. It's typical toddler language that no one understands but mom or dad. Friday, we left really early from the cabin to get on the road. We planned to stop along the way for breakfast. I asked all the kids to brush their teeth before we left and we about getting stuff gathered up. Steve came and told me that Zach looked really confused. He was walking around the kitchen holding his toothbrush and saying "bookasa?" Steve didn't know what to do for him. To me, it was clear what was happening! Zach wanted to know why I was having him brush his teeth before he ate his "bookasa." After all, anyone should know that "bookasa" is "breakfast!" Zach was mad that his dad didn't understand!

Otherwise, in the transition and adjustment department, Zach is testing his boundaries quite a bit now. This is good. It is something all children will do, no matter whether they are adopted or biological. They need to know how far they can push the envelope if they don't want to obey. So, as we experience this, we understand that it is part of his learning how to respond to these new experiences of having parents, siblings and expectations that come along with family life. It is admittedly hard to impose consequences to misbehaviors when we are not sure he understands either what he has done wrong, or what is the outcome of that choice to disobey. But, this is coming along, too. The language is blossoming and the understanding of what is expected is getting there, too. He is a sweet boy. Most of the time, when he is disciplined, he will apologize again for it the next day. This tells me that he is thinking about what happened and continuing to process it. All of this is good.

Another milestone we have reached: Our 6 month homestudy was completed last night! Wow, time is flying by...

Zach and his classmates when he was "star of the week."

Updates on fun stuff (and medical, too)

2008-02-10T19:54:00.007-06:00

Katie and Simone

Zach and Dad all dressed up for church (Zach loved it!)

A lot has happened lately! We have had a lot of fun, including a trip to the Wisconsin Dells to meet up with some adoption friends. Our wonderful friends, Dan and Nicole, brought home their daughter Simone at the same time we brought home Katie. They were buddies during our adoption trip and they are still buddies now. They are adorable together. Unfortunately, this trip also included a bout with asthma by Katie, which required a 10:00 p.m. trip to a wonderful Walgreens who kept the store open 10 minutes for Steve to buy a new nebulizer. Yes, Katie's nebulizer chose this moment to stop working! Katie was generally under the weather on Saturday, but we still managed to have fun.

We also met up with the family of Zach's friend Nina, who came to our hotel for dinner on Saturday. All of our girls had a great time with their friends, and Zach looked forward to his time with Nina, constantly asking from the time he awoke on Saturday if Nina was coming now?

As for swimming at the Great Wolf Lodge, let's just say it was a hit! Zach stayed in the water as long as possible, went down the mat races with his sisters, swam round and round in the lazy river, was flipped over on his tube in the wave pool, etc.

So here is a challenge question for you all:

-- if you didn't know the word for "flip-flops" (you know, those plastic shoes you wear in the summer -- some call them thongs), what would you choose to call them if you wanted to talk about them?

How about -- Swimming Pool Slippers? Sounds good to me! Zach really wanted some, as we prepared for our trip, and this is what he decided made the most sense to get this point across... (I have to admit I love it!)

Then, after the fun weekend, Zach had a "few" medical appointments! He started with a pediatric opthamologist. The result of this visit is a surgery scheduled on April 10 to detach and reattach his eye muscles. He has strabismus (crossing of the eye) and alternating esotropia (which means he uses each eye at different times). With the strabismus, he sees double. So, his brain has compensated for this by shutting down the vision to one eye at a time. He has good vision in each eye because he continues to use both, just not together. The surgery will hopefully get his eyes pointed in the same direction. There is a 20-25% chance that they will over or under correct during the surgery and, if so, he will need another surgery.

Interesting note: Zach apparently had surgery on his eyes in China. He knows what is going on, and is very excited about it! I think he realizes that it will help him.

After this visit, he met with a neurologist. She said she does not like the term "cerebral palsy" as it is a "garbage term" that many things get dumped into. So, she is calling his condition hemiplegia, which is basically that one side is weak. This doesn't change the diagnosis, really, since this is still a condition caused by damage to the brain at some point before or just after birth. Zach will still meet with a specialist in March to discuss options for gaining mobility and flexibility in his muscles. He was fitted for a brace that day and has since started using it. Again, he is excited about this because he recognizes that it is helping him walk and run!

She has scheduled an MRI on March 26 to determine whether he had a stroke in the womb or trauma that caused the damage, and the extent of the damage. We are not worried about cognitive damage, since he is continuing to do well in school. He has had three spelling tests at school now and has scored 100% on each! Go Zach!

Finally, he had a major teeth cleaning. He had a great deal of plaque and bacteria built up under his gums that needed to be scraped away. His breath is much more pleasant these days!

Through it all, he has been a trooper. He knows we are helping him. He knows these steps are necessary. It is a huge benefit that he understands this, since this will keep him from resenting wearing the brace, which he will be wearing all day, every day as soon as he becomes used to wearing it.

That's our news! I will try to keep you all informed at a much greater pace!

Life with Zach can be funny!

2008-01-10T18:35:00.000-06:00

Here are some pictures of life as we currently know it. Katie had her first piano recital (after vowing she wasn't going to play in a recital before she started having lessons). Sledding is great fun (obviously) as is playing outside in general. Zach also has taken on the task of being a teacher at times. He makes chopsticks look SO EASY! We just don't get it. Most of the time, he simply gets frustrated and hands us our fork.

Zach is fun. He is always exploring whatever there is around that can be explored. He wants to know how things work. Actually, he just simply wants to know.

At one point, just a few weeks after we came home, he must have wanted to know what would happen if he threw his slipper over the deck railing. Well, nothing happened. I kept wondering what happened to the other slipper, but couldn't get him to understand enough to tell me. Then, the other day, I ran across the single slipper again. I said, more to myself, "Boy, Zach, I sure would like to know what happened to that other slipper..." So, he promptly took me to the patio door and motioned over the railing. I asked if he threw it over, he said "Yeah." I may never know what was going through his head when he decided to do that. He may have thought there is an endless supply of slippers, since there seems to be no end to the appearance of things he needs. After all, we have so much here, is there really a shortage of slippers if I get rid of one? Since that slipper is now under a foot or so of snow, I will have to wait until spring to really discover what happened to it.

Other times, he just accepts things at face value and doesn't question them.

Like last Monday. The kids were going back to school after their break was over. Everyone was scurrying around since they were off their morning routine having two weeks off. I was making sure everyone was getting dressed. During the break, I had been trying to give Zach a little more control over his choice of clothing. He tends not to stay on task (there is always something to explore in his room), so it is easier to simply lay out the clothes rather than have him take time to choose. On Monday, when the kids were getting ready for school, I told Zach it was time to get dressed. I went in to help him choose and he picked out a dress shirt that I had bought. He had wanted to wear it for playing but I had told him it was for school/church. So, since he chose that, I picked out a pair of jeans and khakis. I put them both on his bed and told him he could wear one of these with the shirt and left to allow him to dress.

That night, when he put his pajamas on, I noticed that he had worn both! The jeans were over the khakis. Steve and I laughed, and Steve explained that you only wear one pair of pants. Zach complained and said "Mama!" It was not until then that I realized he thought I wanted him to wear both! This would not be unusual, since they layer their clothing in China. If you remember, when Zach came to us, he was wearing (in the beginning of Oct) his sweatpants and sweatshirt over his longjohn-style pajamas. Apparently the children coming home from China now are wearing 3 layers! It was what he used to do, so it made sense to him. The only thing I can say is, I feel badly for him when he had to use the bathroom! One zipper is hard enough to manage, but 2! Poor guy!

Then, there was the case of Steve's Disappearing Running Shoes...

Steve last saw them at the beginning of December. We searched the entire house, every logical hiding place. We knew Zach had a hand in this caper. We just couldn't get him to confess (or I guess I should say "understand"). He loves to tease Dad by wearing his shoes around the house. So, Steve finally admitted defeat in the solving of the case and gave in and bought another pair (and, for those that don't know, they are NOT cheap!). Every once in a while, we would ponder what could have happened to them.

Then came the thaw...

I was playing with Baylee one day last week. The weather had warmed up a lot and the snow was starting to melt. I walked down the deck stairs and there they were, one still half buried in the snow and the other lying upside down nearby. Mystery solved! Steve is attempting to get them dry enough to use (he likes these better in the cold). We are now realizing the importance of getting the point across that teasing Dad is ok. Just keep the shoes in the house!

Take care, everyone!

Happy New Year

2008-01-02T19:36:00.000-06:00

As I look at the date of my last post, I have to admit that I have been slacking in my duties. I do apologize about that!

We have had a wonderful December. We continue to be amazed by Zach's ability to accept his new reality with so much grace and patience. His Christmas was a joy. His teacher, Mrs Wu, had explained the idea of a wish list for presents so Zach told her that he wanted a new wagon. We have one that has been through about 11 years of use and has definately seen better days. He was so excited when he opened that Radio Flyer classic red wagon, he couldn't wait to get it together. He had a great time with his grandparents, aunts, uncle and cousins. He simply enjoyed the days of Christmas in a way that is hard to explain.

That night, he was also able to speak to Nina, who told him what Christmas is really about -- Jesus. We couldn't be more thankful to this little girl who was so excited about what she recently learned that she wanted to share it with a friend. What a lesson to those of us who have known Him for a long time. How excited are we to share what we know? That was truly our best gift this Christmas. It was the one piece of the difficulty with communication that we were sad about. We, ourselves, were unable to share our joy in knowing Christ as our Savior with our son. But Nina could. And she did. Praise God! Now we are simply praying that this new seed of knowledge will sprout and that Zach will ponder what he has learned.

We have also had more insight into our precious son, through what Nina has shared with her family. It is a blessing that this friend of Zach's has relatives that live 15 minutes from us! They were here for a short visit on Sunday and it was such a blessing! We truly enjoyed meeting Nina, her sisters and her parents. They are a wonderful family that we are thankful to know.

Anyway, Nina said that our little boy was "one of the nicest boys at the school." Sadly, though not surprisingly, he was teased at school for it. We saw a larger glimpse of this compassion when we had to take Katie to the doctor on Sunday for her asthma. We had started her on an oral steroid the day before and it simply wasn't doing anything for her. We were worried that she would need to go the the ER and the girls explained this to Zach. While we were gone, he cried and sat staring at her picture. Even Maddie couldn't cheer him up. When we returned with a fairly decent report (no pneumonia, at least), he wouldn't leave her side. Even with the sibling rivalry that rears its ugly head, there is love.

Of course, we have had our other moments of miscommunication and misunderstandings. Like the time when Zach had school on the Friday before Christmas break but his sisters, who attend a different school, did not. They attend a charter school with many Fridays off (and longer school days because of it). We had tried to prepare him for this event beforehand, but he awoke remembering that he had school and they didn't. He pouted and refused to do anything without some major prodding. I knew I could not give in and keep him home that day, or he would get the impression that this behavior works to get what he wants. With many more Fridays coming up where his sisters would be home, he needed to understand that there are days like this, and accept them.

So, I called his teacher to prepare her for the fact that Zach was sad and told her why. She understood the need to send him. She in turn prepared Mrs Wu. When I walked Zach in to school, Mrs Wu told him to dry his tears, and told me to go. Zach did just fine and was excited to tell me about his day when I picked him up.

Parenting an older adopted child, or any adopted child who is struggling with attachment, is a challenge. As parents, we need to determine which behaviors are related to attachment issues, and which are simply normal childhood behaviors designed to manipulate us. Just because we adopted an older child, does not make all problems that arise a manifestation of attachment disorder. Overall, we are so pleased with Zach's attachment to us. He seems to have bonded with all of us. He is excited when one of us returns home, and he gives us hugs when one of us leaves. It was because of this that I could be more comfortable sending him in that situation.

We must always remember that every child will handle this transition differently. There is not a "one size fits all" method of dealing with situations that arise. We just have to do the best we can with the knowledge we have of the situation and our child. We will make mistakes. We will achieve successes. All of it leads to the building of our families.

We wish you all a blessed 2008! May it bring many more children home to the families God intended for them from the beginning of time...

Time is flying and we are sure having fun.

2007-12-05T11:04:00.000-06:00

Maddie, Zach, Eliza and Katie

Zach's buddy -- our 100 lb "toddler" -- Baylee

Zach on his new bike!

The front of our house (when it wasn't covered in white!)

And the backyard

Zach is having a great time here in lovely, white, cold Minnesota! We have had a lot of snow, and Zach has been shoveling A LOT of snow! He is such a wonderful helper. He loves to be with his dad and if he sees a tool, he wants to use it! I think I am going to have to buy him his own shovel (so that his dad can get more done ;-).

Recently, I had to repair something in the kitchen. I left to check on something and when I came back, Zach had already reassembled it. If it weren't for the fact that the wood was already splitting, he would have been successful at completing the repair for me. And, the other day, I had a large wrench in my hand to tighten a pipe and Zach stopped playing to follow me and my wrench. What a BOY! That is so unusual around our house. My girls don't want anything to do with tools, unless it is used to put together one of their toys.

Last night, Zach had a chance to talk on the phone to one of his friends from China. He and Nina talked for about half an hour and we had to stop the conversation so that he could take his bath and get to bed. Otherwise, they may have been talking for hours! It was so fun watching him as he talked. He was so excited and laughed and giggled and listened and shared. I am so thankful that my friend Pam told me about the Yahoo group for families with children from Zach's orphange. We have pictures of his friends, we can contact friends, we will hopefully even get together with them in the future! What a joy for Zach and for us. His friends from China are the only people he can talk to who will truly understand what he is going through and what he is feeling. And they are the only ones who will know what he is talking about when he speaks of his past. What a blessing to be able to stay in touch with some of them. Thank you, Nina, for brightening Zach's week! I know he wants to talk again soon.

And, per Nina's request, I have posted pictures from home! She wondered why we hadn't and it is simply because I haven't taken the time to do it.

On a sad and yet happy note, my grandmother went home to her Savior last week. She was 91 and had been missing my grandfather ever since he died so many years ago. They are together now, with Jesus, in a glorious heaven. Zach experienced his first funeral and met lots of relatives. He even remembered to add many of them to his list of people he prays for each night. He named Uncle Chris (my brother who is here from Atlanta) several times! I believe it is a joy for Zach to claim his relatives. We have a family photo that he loves to carry around and name each person in the picture. Again, something we take for granted too often -- family. May we follow Zach's example and remember how special it is to have them.

I am truly thankful.

2007-11-22T09:27:00.000-06:00

As with every Thanksgiving, I can say that I am thankful for so many things. First and foremost, I am thankful for a God who loves me so much that He sent His son, Jesus, to die for me that I may have eternal life by believing in Him.

But, this Thanksgiving, I am thankful for something else that many would think odd -- I am thankful that God allowed the fact that Zach has very mild case of Cerebral Palsy to be kept from his referral paperwork.

If that term had been on his paperwork, we likely would not have requested to be matched with him and would have missed out on bringing home a wonderful son. We are human beings with a natural fear of the unknown. Cerebral Palsy is a term that people associate with severly disabled people, only because it is the severe cases that we recognize. I never knew much about the disorder, and still don't. But now, I will be finding out more. I do know that CP contains a vast spectrum of ways it affects people. Some are more severly affected, others like Zach have minimal affectation. But one thing that is important for everyone to realize is that it is not a progressive disorder. The damage to his brain was done at birth (or shortly after) and will not continue to get worse. Zach's disability has not changed, he still has a limp. That is what we knew at the time we requested him, and that is still his disability. The only thing that has changed is that we have a defined reason for that limp. We also now have a course of action to help him walk better and get the most out of the muscle function he has.

As I think about why I would have allowed fear to keep me from requesting Zach, I have to acknowledge some attitudes in me that are not right. Do I think that Zach, because he has a disability, is less worthy of a home with me? Do I think that Zach, because he has a disability, is not worth the time, money, effort made to get him the medical attention he deserves? Do I think that Zach, because he has a disability, is less deserving of the resources with which God has blessed me? Do I think that Zach, because he has a disability, is not worth sharing what we have? These are powerfully convicting questions. God allowed this information to be withheld, because He knows we are human and sinful. I pray that others, presented with the same opportunity, will be able to see these children for what they are -- gifts given by God, deserving of all we have to offer them. That includes our time, money, any other resources we have available to us. God did not give us what we have so that we could spend it all on ourselves, buying luxuries and saving for a wonderful retirement. Too often, we think that His blessings to us are our reward, rather than our responsibility. He gave it to us to share with those who have needs. He gave it to us so that we could spread his love -- that is our responsibility as Christians. We can't do that very well if we keep that with which He has blessed us.

When Zach went to the doctor yesterday, the interpreter was unable to be there. The appointment was running late, even though our appointment was at 8:45 a.m. The doctor was apparently IN A LECTURE!!! I am still frustrated with the idea that a lecture comes before seeing patients that have confirmed appointments. He was over an hour late for our appointment because we were the 2nd appointment of the day. By that time, Zach was very upset and started crying. We tried to console him. After a few minutes, he made a sawing motion across his leg. We were devastated to realize that he thought we were going to have his leg cut off! Poor guy, no wonder he was crying! A child's imagination is a powerful thing. By the end of the visit, he was happier when he realized he was able to keep his leg. He went home and gave me and each of his sisters an exam, complete with x-rays (using his clock/radio as the camera, pointing it in our direction, and turning the music on and off) and range of motion tests on their legs.

Through all of this, I also have a new perspective on thankfulness. When I see Zach's pure enjoyment of things we take for granted, I am reminded of how much we have to be thankful for. We had a slight dusting of snow last night. I remembered that I had not bought boots for him yet so I thought I should take care of that. When Maddie gave him the boots, he smiled a huge smile, put them on and didn't take them off until bedtime. He put them in his cubby right by his bed and the first thing he did when he awoke this morning was get dressed, put them on and go outside to play. He used the wagon the kids have to move stuff around the back yard. He remembered one of his favorite movies, Home Alone, and how Kevin used the sled to slide down the stairs and into the front yard. He took our sled and slid down the deck stairs. He is simply enjoying the freedom to play. He is using his wonderful child's imagination to have fun in a way that was probably not possible before -- on his own, doing what he wants to do.

I am thankful for my family. I am thankful for Zach, and for all of our girls and their hearts to bring home a brother. We are learning so much about thankfulness through this experience.

Praising God for a good cardiologist report!

2007-11-20T18:05:00.000-06:00

We are so excited! We were in to see a cardiologist on Friday to check up on Zach's heart murmur and the doctor said that his heart is "perfect!" He does have a murmur (I guess I still don't know exactly what causes that), but apparently 50% of kids his age have a murmur. I had no idea! She also said that rather than kids outgrowing a murmur it is probably more likely that, as they grow, their heart gets farther away from the chest wall so the murmur is no longer detectable with a stethoscope. She also said that a murmur sounds much louder when the patient is anxious (yep, he was scared!)

Zach did NOT like the EKG (I think that was what it was...) or the ultra sound. Even with an interpreter telling him it won't hurt, it looks scary. Anyway, we are thankful to have one medical concern scratched off of our list. Praise God!

Tomorrow, we will go to Gillette to have his limp evaluated. We are looking forward to finally having some answers to this mystery!

To prepare for the visit, we had Mrs Wu ask him to please answer the interpreter's questions. He gets really shy and I am sure he is nervous when he goes to these appointments, so he hardly says a word to the interpreters that we have meeting us at these appointments. Some questions are difficult to answer without his input. Not knowing his history like most parents would does make it interesting. So please pray for answers to the question "What has caused Zach's limp?" It may be simply that one leg is shorter (that would almost be too easy, but would be enough for me!). But, realistically, there may be an underlying reason the leg is shorter that needs to be addressed, too. Whatever it is, we just want to know!

So much to report!

2007-11-14T12:34:00.001-06:00

Well, again I am sorry to take so long between posts. There has been so much to say, and I wanted to post pictures of the most important event (Zach started school!), but I can't find my camera! I have a feeling Zach, who loves electronic equipment, may have found a place for it (everything has a place you know ;-). Hopefully I will find the camera and post the pictures but, in the meantime, I want to tell you how well everything is going!

As I said, Zach started school. For those that don't know, our girls attend a charter school. There is a waiting list of over 1500 to get into this school. They do give preference to siblings, but even still, Zach is #11 on the sibling waiting list for his grade. I have to say, though, that we probably would have sent him to our local elementary school anyway. They have an ESL program there and God provided for Zach's needs in a beautiful way -- the only ESL teacher in the entire district who speaks Mandarin Chinese is at this school! I can't tell you what a blessing that was when we found that out. Furthermore, now that we have been the beneficiaries of that blessing for over a week, I can't tell you how much this has made a difference in our decision to send him and how he has handled the transition. We may have made a different decision without this added blessing, since it would have been more of a mystery of how Zach would handle the transition to a new place where no one understands him.

We had an appointment with the principal and the ESL teacher, Mrs Wu, and they both suggested that Zach begin on November 5, and enter 2nd grade. We were very pleased because it is exactly what we wanted for him. His birthday is the end of April and he is certainly not a large kid. It will be great for him to have that extra year to get caught up. He has been adjusting beautifully to his new life and he seems to be bonding well with his entire family. We are the ones he wants to be with. We are the ones he recognizes as his ma-ma and ba-ba and sisters. So, the timing felt right. The aspect of his transition to his new surroundings that will take a lot of time to develop is language. Starting school, especially with the assistance of Mrs Wu, will get that going much more quickly and efficiently than waiting.

I stayed with him the entire first day and then Mrs Wu explained that I would be leaving him on Tuesday. He did so well on Monday that I was less apprehensive. There were several times during the first day that he went off with his class without looking back, so I let him go without me. By the end of the day, his personality was starting to show up (the class clown part, that is!). Tuesday, he was of course a little sad. The teacher (who is a graduate of Bethel and has been to China and on mission trips), recognized this and "assigned" two boys to play blocks with Zach for a half hour. How sweet is that? He was fine the rest of the day. Each day was better and better. Yesterday, even though I thought he would be sad at school since he was still feeling the effects of many vaccinations, he was smiling and laughing the entire day.

We are so thankful for his adjustment so far. We have a long road ahead, but the initial transition has gone so much better than we could have even hoped. PRAISE GOD!

We do have our moments however. Just as he needed to learn that the toilet is not equivalent to a cleaner garbage can, he also needs to learn that a Beta who lives in a vase in the bathroom is not a toy. Nor does he need his fins brushed...

Sadly, yesterday Madeline went into the bathroom only to discover that Milkshake was dead. Definately under suspicious circumstances...

Evidence -- water around the vase, a wet brush nearby, Milkshake had a gash on his side and, yes, Zach had recently been in the bathroom.

Motive -- Curiosity. Zach has never had a "pet fish" before, and could not know that it has a purpose in life.

Conclusion -- Zach would not have purposely killed the Beta, especially had he known that his sisters were attached to the fish and had he known how important Milkshake was to them.

Therefore, we found him guilty of involuntary beta-slaughter. When Steve tried to "ask" him if he put the brush in the bowl, Zach nodded, and shrugged.

We are thankful for Mrs Wu who can explain to him that when Milkshake is replaced with a new Beta he can't put anything in the vase, including his hands, but especially hairbrushes!

Inquiring minds want to know...

2007-10-31T13:16:00.000-05:00

if a partially eaten apple can be flushed down the toilet?

Answer: Yes, but not much else can follow! ;-)

Yesterday afternoon, when the toilet didn't flush the way it should, we had a pretty good idea that Zach had decided to flush something that didn't really belong in the toilet. After plunging with no success, Steve went to the hardward store and bought an auger. Low and behold, he managed to pull out a partially eaten apple. We tried to get the point across that apples and toys don't belong in the toilet -- only toilet paper does. We'll have to wait and see if we achieved success in that endeavor.

All things considered, Zach has done a tremendous job getting used to his new life. He now has a scooter, has tried roller blades, and has his own toy horse to play with his sisters. He is sleeping well, even though he is down to one sister sleeping on his floor each night. We are praising God for his adjustment. He is always smiling and seems to roll with whatever comes his way.

We went to church on Sunday and he was overwhelmed with the reception. We are so thankful for the joy with which he was received. The kids in his Sunday school class were so excited that he was joining them. It truly blessed my heart that they were so eager to get to know him. We are blessed with a wonderful church family.

The girls are doing a great job helping him get to know everything. Eliza has taken it upon herself to listen to our Chinese language CDs to try to learn more words to communicate with her new brother. They are getting him acquainted with the other kids in the neighborhood and he seems to be fitting right in.

Here are some pictures of his first days at home. Thanks to everyone for your encouragement and your enthusiasm in following our journey.

We're Home!

2007-10-26T07:36:00.001-05:00

I am sorry for taking so long to let you know we have arrived safe and sound and all is so good! Our flights were uneventful and Zach was a great traveler. He slept at least 6 hours of the last leg of our flight. We left Guangzhou at 8:15 a.m. and arrived in Tokyo at about 2:00 (local time). We left Tokyo at 3:25 p.m. and arrived in Minneapolis at 11:45 a.m. How I wish it really was only 3 1/2 hours. But 17 hours later, we were home!

Zach's sisters are so proud of him. They have been great, showing him all over the house, helping him find what he needs, and trying so hard to learn how to communicate. What a blessing my children are. We are adjusting well to life as a family of 6.

Zach also had a scare when he met Baylee (our 100 lb chocolate lab) for the first time. It took a while before he could see Baylee anywhere near him without screaming and being terrified. But by the time he went to bed that first night, he was calling Baylee up on the bed with him and saying "Wo ai ni, Baylee!" Too cute.

I want to say, too, that we have some really great friends and family. We drove home in a spotless van, came home to a spotless house and full cupboards and refridgerator! We have received meals and visits. I was not looking forward to grocery shopping when we came home Wednesday, or making meals, and I can't begin to say how grateful we are for all the support. It has meant so much to us on our journey. We have felt the prayers and we know that we are loved. Zachary is doing so well and we praise God for it!

Also, I want to update you on his visit with our pediatrician yesterday. We now know that his left leg is shorter and smaller (less muscle) than his right, and his left foot is slightly smaller. His left ankle doesn't flex past 90 degrees without sustained pressure. We have an appointment scheduled at Gillette on Nov 21 to find out what we should do. Dr Warren suggested that treatment options may include PT, botox treatments (to loosen muscles) or leg lengthening surgery. It's good to be getting answers instead of speculation. I have to say that, considering how quickly the doctors at the visa medical exam diagnosed this, I wonder about all the reasons we were given by the orphanage -- skin condition, femur fracture and infection -- none of which seem to have any merit. I realize that they may have had Zach's best interests at heart in trying to put the best "spin" on what was really causing his limp, but honesty is still the best policy.

We also discovered that he has a heart murmur. Dr Warren has referred us to a cardiologist. He said it could be due to a small hole, or it could be nothing. We pray it is nothing.

I wanted to post some pictures of Zach and his sisters, but in the interests of informing you all is well, I will postpone that until later...

Everything is fine!

2007-10-22T19:46:00.000-05:00

Shiyan came to our room last night about 8:30 and said that it is all fine! We go to the Consulate today at 3:00 p.m. to take our "oath" and get Zach's visa! We are almost done! YEAH!!! (And thank you, Sara! We have really appreciated all your efforts on our behalf. You are truly a wonderful Social Worker!)

We spent our afternoon yesterday swimming (Zach really loves that) and playing at a "park," which is really just an open cement area for kids to play). We brought Zach's ball and had a great time.

We also met another family almost exactly like ours! They are adopting an 8 year old boy and have 3 kids waiting for them at home. It was such a blessing to talk to them. They, too, felt God worked through the entire process to validate their decision to bring home their son. Their son, Elijah, is deaf and their story is fascinating. They live in Colorado and she has felt lead to speak to congregations about adoption.

As I listened to their story about what their son endured in the orphanage, it breaks my heart. He was abandoned at the age of 6 (perhaps he had a illness that caused his deafness). In the orphanage, he was placed with profoundly retarded children. He was abused by the other children, and even has scars on his face as a result of an attack from another child.

So, now that I am writing my last post from China, I have to share my heart, again, for the orphan.

James 1:27 : "Religion that God our father considers pure and faultless is this: to care for orphans and widows in their distress and to keep from being polluted by the world."

Fellow Christians -- How are we doing? It is wonderful to feed the hungry and house the homeless. That is important and necessary in every society. But God, in His Holy Word, specifically tells His people to care for orphans and widows. That is what He is calling "pure religion." There are over 100 million orphans (some estimates say 140 million +). What are we doing? We can't just say that giving food to the local food shelf satisfies this command of God. He absolutely tells us to do these things, too, but there is a big difference between what is said in James 1:27 and these other acts of kindness. The difference is that, in most societies, orphans and widows are the most hopeless and helpless people in the society. What can children do for themselves? They can't work (at least in ways that are moral). They can't provide for their needs. God tells His church to meet those needs but, by and large, we are not We are truly thankful for our church and their heart to be open to orphan ministry! But more churches need to do this. We need to understand that when we say that the other efforts on behalf of the needy are equivalent, orphans go hungry and orphans are left without hope. We must do both. We need to stock the food shelves. AND we need to care for the needs of orphans and widows. If the church was actually doing its job, there would not be so many orphans going hungry on the streets of Manila. There would not be so many children in orphanages in Russia, China, South America and Africa. There really are so many ways we can reach these precious children for Christ. Missionaries do wonderful work. But there are not enough of them to reach this massive number. Foster parents can make a huge impact on every child that comes into their home. Again, there are not enough people stepping up to take on this responsibility. Many foster homes are filled to capacity.

And then there is adoption. Children like Zach and Elijah needs homes as much as the most adorable infant who is waiting for a home. They have experienced a great deal of rejection in their short lives. When we asked Maddie, who was the biggest advocate in our family to adopt Zach, why we should do that she simply said "train up a child in the way he should go" (and in the end he will not turn from it). This is our 10 year old daughter, quoting God's Word about the importance of what a Christian family can do for a child -- any child they choose to love and cherish the way God intended for them to be loved and cherished. When Christians adopt orphans, these children are given the greatest hope we have to give. They are trained in God's Word and told about, and shown through our actions on a daily basis, the work Christ did for them.

Thanks for "listening."

"Famous" red couch photo!

2007-10-21T22:29:00.000-05:00

Sunday evening we took the photo that just about every family adopting from China takes -- a picture of the children being adopted in your group on the red couch in the White Swan Hotel. So, here is Zach with the other Children of Promise babies in our group, and one of Zach with the boys in our group.

Steve and Zach also spent time in the pool yesterday. Zach loves swimming but is not sure about venturing on his own in the water. It is pretty cold in the pool, but since he loves it, they will swim (ba-ba braves the cold, ma-ma does not).

We will find out at noon today if there is any problems with our paperwork that needs to be dealt with. Our guide has assured us that if there are problems it will be fixed very simply by getting a different homestudy addendum from Bethany. We are in capable hands!

During this trip we have been given so many different reasons for Zach's limp (our guide even called the orphanage a couple of times yesterday and was told by them this time that it is due to an infection!). We are not sure what to believe as far as a cause. But in all of this there is one major fact that has not changed -- Zach simply limps. No matter what we finally discover as the cause, none of the reasons we have been given change his "disability." His limp will not get worse. It will probably get better with physical therapy. Even if it doesn't change, so what? We never thought we were adopting a soccer star.

He is, however, a great kid, with a great personality! He is an inquisitive boy who loves to take things apart (we will have to be careful what he gets into when we get home), and put things together. He loves cars and he loves to wrestle. He is a boy who is excited to have a mom and a dad and some sisters he has yet to meet. He deserves what every kid deserves -- LOVE, and home and a family. Part of the problem is that we are afraid to adopt children that need homes because no one can guarantee that they will be perfect. And if they are not perfect then we somehow think they don't deserve a home with us. Too many children are without homes because we let fear stop us from accepting an incredible blessing.

Prayer request

2007-10-20T22:28:00.000-05:00

As we told you, we had an interesting day at the visa medical exam yesterday. Then, this morning, Shiyan called us to let us know that the report written by the doctors may suggest that Zach's problem is more serious and complicated than just a minor special need. This could cause a problem, since our home study addendum says that we are willing to adopt a child with minor special needs. If the medical report says the need is more major and the home study says "minor," Shiyan is concerned that they won't accept our application. We added a line to our I600 application that states that we are aware of the different medical possibilities for the limp. She is hoping that this will avoid any problems.

Obviously, we can't know what the problem is until we get home. Steve spoke to the doctor traveling with us and he said that the reason given by the doctors yesterday is certainly a possibility. However, if it is, it usually gets better, not worse. He also said that the doctors at Gillette specialize in this, as well. We are praising God that he is here with us because he also told us he would pull some strings to get us in to see the doctors we need to see there.

Thanks for praying for us! We know it will all work out. In the meantime, it is an added stress that we need peace about.

NOTE: These last two posts are actually posted by me from China! However, I am going to let Megan add the pictures to the first one, since all my instructions are in Chinese, and I have no clue which one is telling me I can add a picture!

Zach's visa medical exam

2007-10-20T22:20:00.000-05:00

Yesterday morning we had Zach's Visa photo taken and then we went with Bethany's group to have Zach's visa medical exam. He was by far the oldest child, with the next oldest in our group being about 2 years old. Boy, was that another interesting experience. We were one of the first to be called and one of the last to leave. The doctor that was doing Zach's exam looked at his legs, got a concerned look on his face and left the room for a very long time. Then, he brought back Shiyan, our adoption guide, who asked us questions and I gave her our referral medical documents. Then the doctor brought in what seemed like every other doctor in the building! What we could gather is that he thought the limp was somehow caused by a high fever. Now we have one more "diagnosis" we have for Zach. We had the impression that they needed to attribute Zach's limp to something, so they just wanted to put something on the report.

Shiyan asked us if we still want to adopt Zach and the answer was "of course!" It will really be fascinating when we finally get Zach in to see our pediatrician. I am so curious what he will say, or to which specialist he will refer us!

Also, speaking of Zach's limp -- we have an orthopedic surgeon in our referral group! Even he said that you could barely tell Zach has a limp. We told him about the femur fracture Zach apparently suffered when he was 4 and he referred us to the pediatric orthopedic specialists at Gillette. Apparently, the program there is the second best in the nation. This doctor is from the metro area and knows the doctors there. He gave us his card and asked us to contact him when we get home. God is good and will take care of our needs if we just trust Him!

We love being in Guangzhou. It is so much nicer, more comfortable and easier to be American here. We are enjoying my favorite places to eat from my last trip -- Lucy's for a somewhat American style hamburger (I look forward to ordering a hamburger without worrying that it will come with beetroot -- whatever that is), and the deli next to the hotel.

We have also discovered that Zach is refusing to eat with chopsticks and he would not eat the chinese meal we ordered for him tonight. Shiyan wanted us to make sure he gets Chinese food, and suggested the Chinese food at the deli to us several times, so we followed her suggestion. He hardly ate any of it. But he did enjoy the Green Tea flavored ice cream he had after supper! He is eating cereal for breakfast and saying no to things like rice and noodles. I have been choosing many traditional Chinese foods for breakfast, but he is still passing them by. He is obviously making the transition to his new home even before he leaves his old one. It is fascinating how these children adjust.

Our last day in Shenyang

2007-10-19T18:59:00.000-05:00

Friday was an important day for a lot of reasons. We finally received the documents we needed from Shenyang that allowed us to travel to Guangzhou, our final stop in China. We received Zach's birth certificate, his certificate of abandonment, a translation of the adoption registration and his passport. It was a blessing to finally have all of those important documents (and it did not seem that receiving the passport was a sure thing, so we heaved a big sigh of relief).

It was also a day of hurry up and wait. We were leaving Shenyang to go to Guangzhou so we had to pack up our things and check out, but our ride to the airport was not coming until 4:00 p.m., since our flight out was not until 5:50 p.m. So, we packed our bags and waited with our new best friends (and Zach's old friend) Hannah and her family in their room. We will be seeing them in Guangzhou on Sunday. The White Swan is a wonderfully beautiful hotel with a swimming pool (we have been preparing Zach for his first adventure into swimming) and it is great that we get to end our stay here. We want to be home, but this is a pleasant place to be if we can't be there!

Sorry for the lack of pictures. This is just a quick note to let you know we are on the last leg of our journey. We got in last night after 11:00 p.m. and have to meet our group this morning at 9:00 a.m. More later!

Shenyang Imperial Palace

2007-10-18T20:17:00.001-05:00

Thursday, we had a chance to visit the Imperial Palace in Shenyang. Steve never had a chance to visit the Forbidden City in Beijing, so this visit gave him an idea of what that is like. Shenyang became the capital of the Manchu empire in 1625, so the Imperial Palace here was the residence of the emperors. It is second only in scale to that in Beijing, being comprised of over 300 rooms.

The thresholds of the rooms are high as a result of their belief that evil spirits can't jump very high. The high thresholds, therefore, keep them out. There is a meaning to just about everything that is done. Even the colors they choose. Of course, gold is the color used by royalty. Black apparently symbolizes water so when they built the library in the Palace, they used black ceramic tile for the roof. The greatest threat to the books is fire, so they used the color symbolizing water for the roof to protect them.

There is so much to see here, but we are so glad we finally get to travel to Guangzhou today to our last pre-US destination! We miss our girls, we miss our dog, we miss our home, we miss our friends, we miss our food. We have discovered that Zach likes KFC and have eaten quite a bit of that lately (there are lots of them here, Kelly and Ryan!). It is very hard to eat around the hotels we have stayed at in Dalian and Shenyang. The menus are understandably not in English (and without pictures, we just don't want to guess what we are ordering!), and the people do not speak enough English to trust that they understand. That will be different in Guangzhou, since every adoptive family has to travel there, it is easier to find people that speak English.

We are looking forward to not being stared at so obnoxiously. We are so different as we walk the streets of Shenyang and Dalian that people will turn around at street corners and just stare at us. It is a mission of Steve's to win the stare downs. It obviously makes Zach uncomfortable, since the look on their face as they are staring is not often nice.

We met an 89 year old woman at a park we went to recently. We climbed many stone steps to reach a little pavilion and she joined us soon after we got there. As she entered, she proclaimed her age in wonderful English! She has 4 daughters and 1 son, and her husband, who was a doctor, died 9 years ago. We enjoyed talking to her! She learned English many years ago in Shanghai through a Christian school. Then she proceeded to sing "Jesus Loves the Little Children." She also shared that she thinks the young people have horrible manners. The old people still have manners, she said, but she is saddened by the young.

The three children are Zach, Hannah and Hannah's brother, Andrew.

The furnishings are in the living quarters of the Emperor's family, and of his throne.

There is a picture of a cradle which would be used for the Emperor's child. It hangs from the ceiling. I thought this was really interesting.

Qing Zhao Tomb

2007-10-17T21:15:00.001-05:00

Wednesday, we visited the Qing Zhao Tomb which means Luminous Tomb. It is more commonly known as Beiling Park, since it is in the North. This is one of the largest and best preserved of China's imperial mausoleums. It is the tomb of Abahai (1592-1643) and was built in 1643. It is a massive complex with many gates and buildings. The tomb itself is a mound that apparently has not been unearthed and remains sealed to this day. It is a beautiful area and we enjoyed hearing the history.

Zach continues to brighten our days. He giggles and laughs at bedtime when we say our prayers and give him goodnight kisses. He says "wo ai ni" (I love you) to us spontaneously and smiles, laughs and goofs around with Dad. He has a great personality and seems completely comfortable with us already. He always wants to hold both our hands (which is a challenge on the crowded sidewalks), and gets concerned when one of us is gone longer than he likes.

We asked Maggie to translate some words/phrases for us -- like "obey" "now" and "no whining" (which he does when he doesn't get his way, the universal language for kids!). When she translated "no whining" for us, there is not a direct translation in Chinese. So, what we are saying to him when we use the phrase she gave us is "don't be chickie!" We think that is so funny!

He is trying to learn more and more English and can now count to 8. He says "thank you" and "you're welcome" and repeats other phrases he hears. His nannies told us that he is better at learning language than math (which may be more a function of poor vision than ability) so we are hopeful for better communication in the months ahead.

And Eliza, Maddie and Katie -- he loves to straighten up our room! He is always putting things back where they came from and organizing our suitcases. We definitely think you will be learning a thing or two from your new brother!

Well, we are counting down the days now. Tomorrow, after we receive the documents we need from here, we leave for Guangzhou, where the US Consulate is. That is where we will receive Zach's visa to come to the US. We are looking forward to checking into our last hotel, especially one with a swimming pool and warm weather.

We really just want to come HOME! We miss our girls soooo very much (by the way, the picture of the marble horse is just for you! It is a statue honoring the emperor's horses named Big White and Small White who saved his life many times).

Steve & Hannah

Steve & Zach

Cindy & Zach

Miscellaneous Observations

2007-10-16T21:04:00.001-05:00

We had a free day on Tuesday, after traveling back to Shenyang from Dalian Monday evening. We didn't do much, which was nice. Zach loves K'nex and legos. It is a great way to spend time in the hotel room. He also loves the movie "Polar Express." He has watched it all the way through several times now (in Chinese, of course!).

As we have had Zach for a week now, we are praising God for how well he has done so far. Maggie asked him the other day why he was talking in such a sweet, sing-song voice. he said it is because he is so happy! What a great thing to hear!

We know there are a lot of transitions ahead of us when we get home. Here, he can't communicate well with us, although he understands more and more each day (like "time for bed," "brush teeth," "time to eat," etc), but he can talk to Maggie, who is with us everyday. When we get home, there will be no one regularly available who can speak to him. We will see what we can do to help that situation, but it will be different.

As for being in China, we have enjoyed the chance to experience what it is like here. After being on the highways traveling by bus to Dalian and back, I have learned a few things about life on the road in China.

--Lane lines are simply suggestions, not absolutes. If you don't know which lane will go faster, simply drive in both lanes and make up your mind when you need to.

--Horns are for letting those ahead of you know that you are coming and to get out of your way. If those ahead of you are driving in both lanes, it is a way for you to tell them they need to choose the lane that is not the one you are currently in. And, many times, it is not the biggest car that wins, but the loudest, longest horn.

--If you are going to survive on the streets of China, whether as a driver, bike-rider, or pedestrian, you need to be fearless. The one who wins is the one who plays the best game of "chicken." Just because you are a pedestrian, does not give you any rights against those in cars. However, you can win your space if you simply plow right ahead as if no cars are coming.

--If you want to make a turn, it doesn't matter which lane you are in. You can make a right turn from the left-most lane of a three lane street, if you like. It simply is a matter of going where you need to go from where ever you are.

--Sidewalks are not just for pedestrians and bike riders. They can be for cars trying to get around traffic, or cars wanting to drop off passengers. Pedestrians always need to be on the lookout for cars coming up behind them as they walk along.

--Last observation about the rules of the road -- It all works! We have seen no accidents, which is amazing! Somehow, everyone is able to drive, ride and walk in harmony with everyone else. Everyone seems to have a sixth sense about what the others around them are doing so that they can avoid anything unpleasant. Fascinating!

Today, we will visit Beiling Park. We will enjoy the sights, I am sure!

Our day at the orphanage...

2007-10-15T21:08:00.000-05:00

We are so thankful we spent time at the orphanage on Monday. We found out so much that was helpful. When we arrived, we were shown pictures on the wall of children from the orphanage that have been adopted and their families. Next to that, we were told about how this particular orphanage has been at the forefront of encouraging children to be placed in foster families. Of the 238 children under the care of the orphanage right now, only 41 are currently in the orphanage. There are approx 168 in foster families and the rest are at the boarding school in Chaoyang (where Zach spent his last year). We are able to take pictures, but were told to make sure we did not take pictures of children.

We were then brought to the nursery. There were 6 babies and 2 caregivers. the room was bright and clean and the nannies seemed very loving and compassionate. One of them brought Zach over to a drawer and she pulled out some baby lotion and put it on his face He has some very dry patches that look like eczema on his face It is hard to buy things here without our guide to help us find what he needs. We thanked her and asked through Maggie if there is anything else we need to know about Zach and his health. We were amazed at the answer.

First of all, they said his eyes were a little crossed and he is a little nearsighted (we had already talked about getting his eyes checked when we came home, he gets really close to things to see them). Then she told us he had broken his leg (we think they said femur) when he was 4! Such important information which may help explain his "slight limp." When he walks, he does have an unusual gait at times, but not always. It will be interesting to see if the leg healed well, or if it was simply relearning how to walk after the cast came off that caused him to "limp." Maggie said something about "surgery" for it, but we find no scars. There is also no indication of any skin problem with his legs.

We were then brought to a school room, again very bright and clean. We saw the washroom, the dining area, the play areas, and another room with more children, mostly toddler/preschool age. We saw the little boy that was with us during the adoption process in Shenyang. We were able to tell him that we had "met" his parents on line through a group set up for parents with children from this orphanage. We told him they are very excited to come get him. He just beamed and gave Zach a thumbs up.

As for the titles of the people we have met, I am confused. The woman we have spent many of our last days with is apparently the Director of the orphanage. We were introduced to another woman, who seemed very kind, who was called the Leader of the orphanage. Then we met a gentleman, Mr Liang, who is the President of the orphanage. He invited us to a special lunch with him in our honor.

We went up a hill to a play area and saw the location of Zach's referral photos. It is prettier in the spring, but it is lovely. There was a play area there. After a while, we were called back down for lunch. It was a very traditional Chinese dinner, complete with fish served whole, shrimp served with the head, eyes and antennae, and chopsticks. Steve had never experienced a meal like this (we have been on our own for meals and have not ventured too far into Chinese cuisine). It was all delicious, and Steve managed to eat with his chopsticks!

We were thanked several times for adopting the children. The president addressed most of his conversation to Steve, as the only man there. We were still with Nancy who is adopting Hannah (among the last single women allowed to adopt), her cousin, Ellen, and Nancy's son, Andrew (adopted 4 1/2 years ago from China). Mr Liang asked where we were from and which NBA team is in our area. So, they talked basketball for a while and Mr Liang said the kids all love to watch the games in the morning.

He then asked Steve for a personal favor. Since the kids all love the NBA, he asked if we could get autographs for all 238 children in the orphanage. He preferred Kobe! But said any would do. We agreed to see what we would do, and we will certainly give it our best try. Anyone out there with connections??

It was a lovely time, and Mr Liang told us to consider this our second home...

Our Day in Dalian

2007-10-14T20:22:00.002-05:00

Sunday, our day of sightseeing was simply shopping. I was hoping for a chance to get some gifts and souvenirs, but we were taken to a very expensive department store, at which we could buy very expensive clothes! I think the Chinese people assume all Americans are very wealthy. Anyway, we were able to get Zach two pairs of pants for more than we would have paid at home. The director of the orphanage was with us and we had the feeling we were expected to buy some things for our child. So we did.

After that, we decided to bring Zach's ball to the square two blocks from the hotel to play catch. When we arrived we were immediately approached by a woman who obviously wanted to practice her English on us. She asked about the history of America. Anyone who knows Steve would know that this is right up his alley! He started with 1760 and moved his way through the revolution, civil war and an explanation of our government system with the House and Senate! We had quite a crowd around us, with another teenager practicing her English on me. Then, I ended up helping a student with his application to get into school in the UK. He asked if I would help with his grammar. It was quite a day.

It makes me nervous when anyone but those we have been working with speak to Zach or Hannah in Chinese. Their expression is sometimes so sad, you just want to know what they said so that you can explain away anything that may have been hurtful.

The pictures are of the time at the park. Zach and Hannah did get to play a little and giggled and laughed the whole time.

**There will be more pictures added of the time at the park. Blogger.com was having temporary issues when I tried to upload the other 2 pictures.

Sightseeing in Dalian

2007-10-13T21:20:00.000-05:00

After almost a week away from home, we finally had a day of sightseeing! Dalian is a beautiful city and the seaside is really gorgeous. We just drove along the shore and saw the National Hotel, where the Chinese diplomats stayed. Mao had a room there, but apparently never stayed.

We also stopped at a square with many sculptures and some rides for kids to go on. Zach and Hannah had a great time!

Zach continues to do well and we are so thankful to God for the peaceful adjustment he has made to us while here. We know there is more adjustments to be made when we get home. Zach has already told Maggie that he is afraid of his new room -- it will be too big! He wants his sisters to sleep in his room with him for a little while. It will be much different at home than here. We pray the transition continues to go well. And thanks to everyone for their continued prayers on our behalf. We are blessed!

Dalian

2007-10-12T14:37:00.000-05:00

Last night was so much easier on Zach! Earlier in the day, he had shown us a photograph of a group of kids that he had in the backpack that he carried when we were presented with him. Apparently, it is one of the little boys in the photo that he was trying to call last night. This time, he calmly showed us the photo and indicated that he wanted to call his friend. We explained that we didn't have the number, and he shrugged his shoulders and got ready for bed! No tears, no sadness, just acceptance! We couldn't have been happier. Again, he slept peacefully through the night.

We awoke to the beginning of a hectic day. Our wakeup call came at 5:00 a.m. and we were in the van heading to the bus station by 6:00 a.m. We took a bus (like a greyhound bus) to Dalian and arrived after 4 1/2 hours with just enough time to get our luggage to our rooms only to get back in the van and head to the passport office. We got a box lunch for the kids to eat while there. We completed our business in a couple of hours and headed back to the hotel.

Once there, we accomplished another major task -- we were able to get Zachary to change his clothes! Yes, he has worn the same thing the last three days. He arrived wearing nylon pants over pajama bottoms, and a fleece sweatshirt over a pajama top. He would not agree to change clothes. Recognizing it as a comfort issue, we didn't force anything. Today, however, we decided to see what our guide could do. She discussed it with the orphanage director who explained that the kids switch outfits every other day, so now would be the time to switch. The director talked to Zach and told him it was time. He reluctantly agreed, but he did it! Hallelujah!

We also had the orphanage director and another little boy from the orphanage on our bus. He was reading one of the books we had bought for Zach. I asked Maggie to see how old he is. He said he is "much older" than Zach but he doesn't know how much older. It occurred to me that these kids probably don't have any reason to keep track of their ages. This was another interesting observation I never considered.

All in all, we are impressed with the three kids we have met from the orphanage. They are good kids and seem to be prepared for what is ahead. They also seem well cared for and do have an affection for the director and the other woman who came from the orphanage. It is so wonderful to see that.

Zach is really all boy! He loves his football and plays with all the matchbox cars we brought. He loves wrestling with ba-ba (and I love how he laughs when they are goofing around!). He is also a budding computer expert. We bought 7 Chinese DVDs (for around $13 total!). He loves watching them.

Thank you so much for your kind notes on our blog and the e-mails we have received. We can't access the site, but any comments made are sent to our e-mail address so we are able to read each and every one. It blesses us to know that you are there with us!

Our first day with Zachary...

2007-10-11T14:01:00.000-05:00

Finalizing Zachary's adoption.

We have now been with Zachary for one full day!

For the most part, he has done great, but he did have a tough time after he went to bed last night. He started crying and wanted to call someone on the phone (we don't know whom). He was very upset, as anyone can imagine. There is a little girl next door named Hannah, who is also 8 and is being adopted by Nancy. Hannah is from the same orphanage as Zach, so he knows her and can communicate with her. She came over and calmed him down. After she left, I laid with him in his bed and after about 10 minutes he was sound asleep. He slept peacefully through the night (probably due to the prayers of his ba-ba/daddy, who could not sleep at all, but just kept praying for him). It was hard to see him grieve, but we would have been surprised if he didn't grieve at all. This morning, he awoke refreshed and, once again, happy as can be! We will see what tonight brings. We are praying that the grieving will be less intense.

According to Zach, we are his ma-ma and ba-ba and he is a delight. Today, we finalized his adoption and are just so excited to call him our son. He can't get enough of his photo album which contains pictures of his sisters and his new home. He carries it with him everywhere and shows everyone.

The photo with the 3 children is of Zach and Hannah, who is next door to us at the hotel, as well as another boy from their orphanage. His family is coming for him next week.

We leave the hotel tomorrow morning at 6:00 a.m. so we are hoping for a peaceful sleep. we travel by bus to Dalian, where his orphanage is. It is supposed to be beautiful, so we are looking forward to the trip.

Thank you so much for your prayers, everyone. We are so thankful for so many who are lifting us up right now. We can feel them.

Meeting Zachary...

2007-10-10T14:10:00.000-05:00

We have Zach and couldn't be more excited about the way it has gone so far! He has done nothing but smile all day long. He laughs when he sees the pictures of his sisters. Whenever we go anywhere, he makes sure that he is holding both our hands. Maggie (our guide) told us that he said he loves us and is satisfied with us. What a blessing! She also says it is unusual that he seems to be bonding to both of us, rather than only one.

We certainly realize that this does not imply smooth sailing from here on out. But his disposition is so pleasant and he just seems to be such a delightfully happy boy. We are praising God and thanking everyone for their prayers on our behalf. They are certainly making a difference.

Our arrival in Shenyang...

2007-10-09T14:34:00.000-05:00

Today started out uneventfully. We walked around the hotel a little, came back and waited for our guide, Joy, to bring us to the airport for our flight to Shenyang. The plane took off as scheduled and, being a short flight, we barely had time to get settled in our seats before we were getting off again. It was hot in the cabin, so I took off my sweatshirt and the passport holder and placed it in the pouch in front of me.

Then it was every travelers worst nightmare, especially those traveling with adoption as their goal. I left the passport holder which held nearly $5000 in cash along with our passports in the pouch and did not think of it until after we had our luggage and had met our guide, Maggie. She ran with me to the police station, and explained the situation. From my perspective, they didn't seem to have the urgency required (of course I couldn't understand a word being said). Two officers were sent in search of the plane we just disembarked. We sat there for over 20 agonizing minutes. Occasionally, the officer's phone would ring and Maggie would ask another question (how much money was in the pouch? Are you sure your seats were 12A & B?). The longer we waited, the more questions they asked, the more we prayed. I realized that it was in God's hands, and I could do nothing but pray. What would happen if that money was gone? What would we do without our passports?

Just as if it seemed there was no hope because it was taking so very long, the phone rang and we were told that it had been found!. A cleaning lady had turned it in. We were cautiously hopeful that everything was intact. Finally, they brought it in for us to inspect. Praise God! It was all there, every last dollar, both passports, everything!

I have to admit that I did not want to share this story. How careless of me! I still can't think about it without getting angry at myself. But, as Steve pointed out, we have to share how wonderfully God worked this out for us. In a way, it was further confirmation that God does indeed want us to bring Zachary home. It is literally a miracle that this potentially horrible story turned out the way it did. God made sure we had the money. He made sure nothing was delayed. He made sure we had no reason to turn back now (not that we would have...) We give Him all the glory for this day!

And tomorrow, we are going to receive another miracle.

We've Arrived!

2007-10-08T22:38:00.000-05:00

We arrived without problems (although they did confiscate my 8oz bottle of hand sanitizer -- 3 oz is apparently the limit for carry-on liquids). We are in Beijing right now and are leaving this afternoon for Shenyang and will have Zachary tomorrow afternoon. The weather is great. We had a blessedly uneventful trip to this point. Everything happened as planned and we pray it continues that way. We had a decent night sleep, despite the rock hard bed!

Due to limited internet connection today's update was posted by Megan Olson on behalf of the Jacob family. Below are some pics of Beijing.

Leaving Tomorrow!

2007-10-06T20:59:00.000-05:00

We are finally at the point where I can say we are leaving tomorrow. It seems a little surreal. I will miss the girls desperately, but I am thankful for such loving and capable hands to leave them in. It means the world to us.

I admit that I am a little nervous about what is ahead, so please pray that I will not allow fear to steal my joy in these final days before we meet our son. I am so excited and so thankful for this gift God has given. I trust God to prepare the way before us as we travel to bring Zach home. I can't begin to say how much I have looked forward to this time. I am thrilled.

We will do what we can to post while in China. However, we may not be able to. Keep checking and we will keep trying!

Thank you so much to everyone for praying for us and caring for all of us! We have been blessed beyond measure by the love and support shown in so many ways.

We have our itinerary!

2007-10-04T21:21:00.000-05:00

We received our itinerary yesterday. We will leave on the 7th, arrive in Beijing on the 8th, overnighting there. We leave the next day, the 9th, for Shenyang and on the 10th we receive the gift we have waited so long to receive. That is the day we have looked forward to for almost 2 years! We will have Zach on Wednesday, October 10!

It is also a blessing that we will be able to share a guide in Shenyang with another family adopting a 10 year old from Zachary's orphanage. I pray that they are friends or at least become friends! I am glad that he will have someone else going through much the same thing he is that he can talk to.

Then, on the 11th we sign the documents to begin all the paperwork to finalize the adoption from China's perspective. On the 12th, we travel via "small bus" to Dalian, which is the city Zach's orphanage is in. It is called the "Garden City of China," and we have read that it is beautiful (just look at Zach's referral picture!). We will tour for 1/2 the day on the 13th and 14th. Then on the 15th we have been invited to visit the orphanage! We are so thankful to have this opportunity. We drive back to Shenyang that afternoon to complete the paperwork. The 16th we have a free day, the 17th we visit Beiling Park, the 18th we visit Shenyang Imperial City (second only to the Forbidden City in Beijing). The 19th we fly to Guangzhou.

In Guangzhou Zach will have his visa medical exam, the Consulate Appointment and then receive the visa allowing us to bring him HOME! We fly out of Guangzhou headed for the US on Wednesday the 24th. I can't wait to get started on the final stage of this journey to our son.

Just days away...

2007-10-02T13:29:00.000-05:00

We are getting ready to leave this Sunday. I can't believe it is almost here. I am trying to gather last minute things that the girls will need, or that we will need. I need to make copies of paperwork, and make sure it is all in the right order. That is the part that scares me more than forgetting toothpaste! What if I leave a document home??!!?

I am also so sad about leaving the girls. I will miss them terribly. They have so many people who are offering to care for them, I know they will be loved in our absence. It is wonderful that my mom and sister will be able to watch them most of the time, then they will have a fun weekend with cousins and several other friends will have them for part of the time we are gone. They have all said that they are planning fun outings and events. I know the girls will enjoy everything! We are so blessed to have family and friends willing to do this for us. Baylee, too, has her own caregiver. A friend from church will be staying at our house to take care of our "other child." How wonderful for Baylee to be an "only child" and get all of that attention while we are gone!

We will have Zachary one week from tomorrow. I can't wait to meet him!

Thoughts on adopting an older child.

2007-09-24T13:51:00.000-05:00

As we count down the last days before traveling to bring home our precious son, I have obviously been thinking a great deal about the changes and challenges coming our way. We are so thankful for all the family and friends who are supportive of our decision to bring Zach home. We could never say enough how much it means when others share in our excitement.

We do know that those close to us are concerned about the difficulties we may face in the coming days, months and even years. We understand that adopting an older child brings a different climate to our home. It is wonderful how beautifully Katie blended into our family. She was only 10 months old when we brought her home and she had spent those months in foster care. She had no problems with attachment. Zach may. We know that. We can't say we know what is coming, because no one knows how each individual child will handle the (huge) transition from institutionalization to family life.

One thing that has become very clear to me is that adopting an older child brings fear to many because of the unknowns and potential difficulties involved, even among families that will readily consider adoption for their family. It never ocurred to us that this adoption process would bring us an 8 year old boy. However, it was clear to us that this is what God had planned for our family all along. Since that is the case, we know that He is with us in this adoption. While we don't know what challenges are ahead, we DO know that God will get us through. We trust in a God who cares about us. We trust in a God who cares about Zachary. We rejoice in His love for all of us, because it is that love that has brought us to this point.

Something for everyone to consider is that there are no guarantees that biological children will not give you grey hair. We may be blessed with children who do everything right and well. Or we may be blessed with children that bring challenges and trials. Either way, they are valued by you and you will do what you can to help them through their difficult times. Zachary is our child as much as Eliza, Madeline or Katelin are. Therefore, God has called us to be there for him to help him through the difficult times.

The most important aspect of adopting an older child that I want everyone to understand is that we are choosing to follow God in this decision. We choose to do that despite the unknowns. We choose to do that despite the fact that we are going beyond our comfort zone. We choose to do that despite the fact that we probably have trials ahead. Why? Because Zachary has infinite value in our eyes. Zachary is a precious 8 year old boy who has probably not known what it is like to be loved unconditionally. He has been through many transitions in his short life and we are putting aside our own comforts to make sure that this child, valued by God, receives the love all children DESERVE! We can't say no simply because we are uncomfortable about it. This is the child God has chosen for us and we will be blessed beyond measure by adding Zachary to our family.

If God is calling you to consider adopting an older child, don't say no out of fear. The child He is calling you to is infinitely more important than your comfort level.

What a difference a day makes

2007-09-20T21:43:00.000-05:00

On Tuesday, we made final decisions on which flights to purchase and to leave the girls home. My sister also decided to remain home to help care for the girls (bless her heart!). We were leaving on Oct 9 and returning on Oct 24. On Wednesday, I had a meeting with our SW to go over paperwork and she started the meeting by telling me she just got off the phone with the China coordinator in Grand Rapids. They were hoping we purchased adoption fares...

Apparently, Liaoning now requires families to be in province for 10 days rather than the standard 5. That means, in order to make our Consulate Appointment on Oct 22 We need to be in Shenyang, the capital of Liaoning province, no later than noon on Oct 10. In order to make that, we need to fly out no later than the 8th. However, there is not a flight out on the 8th that guarantees we will be in province when we need to be. Therefore, we are now leaving on Sunday, Oct 7. We will fly to Beijing, arriving about 9:30 p.m. and overnight there. We will catch a flight out the next day, the 9th, around 3:00 p.m. to Shenyang, putting us there in good time to make our deadline. We will not tour Beijing at all.

It is a wonderful thing when God shows you why he asked you to make a difficult decision you did not want to make. He has given us a reason to be thankful we chose not to bring the girls. If we had, we would have bought non-adoption fare tickets (much cheaper) that would have steep penalties for changes. My sister would have paid even more with the penalties for a trip that already was more than she expected, and she would have been gone even longer from work, and she would not have seen the part of China she was probably most looking forward to -- everything in Beijing. The girls would have missed more school.

So, what a difference in our travel plans a day has made. It is too bad that we will miss sightseeing in Beijing and meeting up with our Bethany travel group there. But, as Steve said "that's not why we are going to China." We will still get a chance to be with the group in Guangzhou. But the best part is that we will have Zach on the 10th (most likely) or the 11th (rather than the 14th/15th)! We will have him for 2 weeks while in China!

God is good. God has plans that are perfect.

We have our TA!

2007-09-18T17:19:00.000-05:00

Our Travel Approval arrived yesterday! Our wonderful Social Worker was exactly right with her estimates for travel. We will leave on October 9 and come home on October 24. We will be in province before noon on October 14 so we may receive Zachary that day, or on the 15th. We'll know more about that when we receive the in China travel plans. We can start packing now!

On a sad note, we have decided not to bring the girls. When we received the cost for airfare and an estimate for the in China expenses, it was going to be about $4000/5000 more than we planned on. I cried and had a hard time with the decision, but now that it has been made, I have to say that I recognize the positive aspects of traveling without the girls. It is possible that Zach may need that time alone with just Steve and me without sharing us with his sisters. We don't know how he will respond to us. I also spoke to an acquaintance who traveled to bring home her 11 year old daughter from Ethiopia. They brought along their other daughter hoping that the two would get a good start on their relationship, but it didn't turn out as they had planned, and Rachel didn't enjoy the trip which made it harder on them. I needed to hear that today, as I feel badly about the decision.

I am also looking forward to the time in Beijing with Steve. We don't have that opportunity very often and it's very possible we may not have it again for a while!

We are thrilled to have dates. We are excited to get started on the final leg of the journey to bring home our precious son. Not one part of this adoption has been the way "I" planned, but I am beyond excited at the way it is working out.

Still waiting and completing tasks

2007-09-12T13:24:00.000-05:00

We are still waiting to hear from China when we can travel for Zach. In the meantime, the bunk bed and loft have been constructed (thanks Nic!) and painted (thanks Bernie!). Katie is now in her lower bunk bed in the same room as her sisters. YEAH! I am currently in the process of painting Zach's bedroom. We have decided on two white walls, a navy wall and a red wall. This will make it perfect for decorating in Twins motif, which is only fitting for Steve's son, after all! I don't know what our family will do if Zach does not turn out to be a baseball fan...

Next Tuesday evening, Patti, Natasha and Megan are hosting a shower in Zachary's honor at our church. It is so wonderful that they are willing to do that for us. We do need a lot in order to add a boy to our household of princesses!

Well, we hope to hear this week or next about our travel dates. So, until then, thanks for visiting!

Steve's mother

2007-08-31T16:27:00.000-05:00

We are sad to write that Steve's mother lost her heroic battle with cancer on Wednesday, August 29. We are thankful that the end came quickly and peacefully. Wayne did not have to watch her deteriorate. We are sad that she will not meet her grandson or that Zach will not have a chance to get to know his grandmother.

Thank you for your prayers.

We have our LOA!

2007-08-24T11:24:00.000-05:00

Well, Steve teases me about using acronyms, but we have our LOA! I honestly don't know exactly what LOA stands for. I think it is Letter of Acceptance. But it might be Letter of Approval. I DO know it is our LOA!!!

Our Social Worker told us that we should receive our Travel Approval (TA :-) in about a month. After that, it depends on when we can get a Consulate Appointment (CA). In the second half of October, there is a trade show in Guangzhou. This is where the US Consulate is and where we finish our trip. If they can get a CA before the trade show begins, then we should travel the first two weeks of October. If not, we may not travel until the last week of October, since we start out in Beijing and the province, then go to Guangzhou the first week of November. We will just have to wait and see.

Please pray, too, for Steve's mother. She is not doing well in her fight with cancer. She now has hospice care and is getting much weaker. If it is a possibility that she may pass away during the time we are in China, Steve will stay home to be with his father and brother. I will still bring the girls and my sister as we originally planned. God has a plan for us and I trust that, whether Steve is able to travel with us or if he needs to stay home, that God's plan is perfect and for our good. It will be hard on both of us, but God will give us each the grace to get us through.

On a lighter note, I thought I would post pictures of our trip to our friend's cabin. We relaxed and swam a lot. Baylee never stopped moving until the night before we left. If there was a ball nearby, she wanted it thrown into the water for her to retrieve it. Non-stop!

So much happening!

2007-08-06T07:37:00.000-05:00

There is really so much going on lately, I don't even know where to start. I finished painting the girls' bedroom. The girls did help (Madeline had a blue paint roller, Eliza a pink and Katie had a paint brush). I figured it didn't have to be perfect and it is their room! They really did a nice job and I finished much more quickly with their help. It really does look great -- Blue walls, pink walls and fushia/red walls and shelf. Lots of color and lots of fun!

Also, we found out on July 26 and confirmed with our SW on the 27th that the cost for a visa to travel to China was doubling (from $50 to $100) on August 1! I asked if there was any way to apply now to save our travel group $300, and thankfully we were able to. Apparently, they are good for either 3 or 6 months and China will automatically issue a 6 month visa if your trip is planned beyond 3 months. We are confident that we will be back by the end of January, so we are grateful that we were able to find out about in time to save so much. And, it is one more piece of the trip already taken care of.

On a more disappointing note, we found out through a yahoo group established for families of children from the Dalian SWI that Zach's "Liaoning School for the Foundling" is actually a boarding school for about 600 kids located about 7 hours away from the orphanage. It doesn't seem like there is much of a summer break or time to spend back with the foster family either. This really just makes it another orphanage. We are sad to learn this, but are glad that we know. We can pray more specifically for Zach and hope that we can bring him home quickly. It also makes it more difficult to figure out how to send him a package. We don't know where to send it. If he is at the school 7 hours away, it doesn't make sense to send it to the orphanage. I don't know if we can send things directly to the school and, even if we do, will someone there have the time to go over the album with him? I am trying to work all this out. We want to send him something, but if it doesn't get to him it's not worth the time and effort.

We also received answers to some questions we asked about Zach to help prepare for his homecoming. We wanted to know things like "What are his favorite toys or activities" and "What are his favorite foods." The answers we received were "he's not a picky eater" (can any child in an orphanage be?), and "he likes typical boy toys, like balls." I am sure no one asked Zach the questions, they just answered for him, which wasn't really the point. Oh well, we will just have to wait until we have him to ask him ourselves!

We had a great time at our friend's cabin last week, Baylee especially! For her, it was non-stop ball chasing in the water, on shore, chasing chipmunks, visiting friends, etc. We humans had a relaxing time!

God is Good!

2007-07-24T12:15:00.000-05:00

As I think about our journey to Zachary, I am amazed at how we arrived at this point. We had requested an older girl and toddler aged boys. We were almost expecting to receive a referral for an infant. But, God had His plan for our family so beautifully mapped out and used those disappointments to get us to Zachary. Through the different stages of our journey, we had prepared ourselves for an older child and a boy. Now we know who he is!

We recognize the challenges of adopting an older child. We know that we have some difficult times ahead. But we also know that we have some incredibly wonderful times ahead! God works all things together for the good of those who love Him. And we love Him! Therefore, He made these plans for us and Zach for our good! We know that Zachary has been planned by God to be the perfect addition to our family, regardless of the inability to communicate, at first. Regardless of the struggles he may have because of his institutionalization. We know that we are the family Zach was supposed to be in, regardless of where he was born. He was meant to be here, with us, as our son and brother. We joyfully look forward to his homecoming.

We are thankful for family and friends who are rejoicing with us as we look forward to this new chapter in our lives. We are thankful for the fact that our local elementary school has an ESL teacher that speaks Mandarin Chinese (whose husband said of his wife and Zach "they are going to get along famously!"). We are thankful for the existence of a Bible based church in Edina that holds services in Mandarin each Sunday, where Zach can hopefully keep his Chinese language skills fine tuned, as well as learn about our precious Savior in a language he understands.

We are praising God for being with us on this next step of the journey He called us on two years ago.

Some wonderful reactions to our news!

2007-07-14T13:51:00.000-05:00

The reactions we have received when we have told people our news has been wonderful! It is so great that people are almost as excited as we are!

When I told Eliza (Madeline was at camp when we found out), she screamed! She also picked up the phone and started calling everyone she could think of. How fun! Thank goodness we have a fax phone, too, so we could make calls at the same time. Of course, our first calls were to Steve and Madeline, who were thrilled to finally get the news(we had been waiting all morning!).

Steve called his brother, Bob, and told him and I left a message on the answering machine for Kirsten and our nephews. I said that we were really excited. Kirsten said that when Andy (our oldest nephew) heard that we were excited, his response was "not as excited as we are!" I love that! Apparently, the boys have been wanting a male cousin for a long time now (they only have 2 other female cousins besides our girls, so they really wanted another boy in the family to balance it out!). Kirsten thanked us for accomodating them! :-) We were more than happy to!

Katie thought about it for a little while. She is happy to have a brother (she has always had fun playing with boys and girls, so it never really mattered to her). After this all sunk in for her she informed me that Zach is Dad's "first human boy company." (We used to have a male German shepherd...). Steve is very excited, too, making plans for swimming lessons and ball games with Zachary's cousins.

We have also received Zach's first official gift from our friends Nic, Megan, Corinn and Noah! (Thank you so much!) It really is a blessing to see how thrilled our friends are for us, too.

Well, the Letter of Intent (LOI) will arrive at Bethany the beginning of the week. Once they send it to China, our wait for further instructions from China officially begins. Now for painting bedrooms, building lofts and bunk beds, and other fun stuff that will help us pass the time until we get to meet our son!

Let the paperwork begin!

2007-07-11T15:27:00.000-05:00

Well, we have decided that we will spell his name Zachary. Our Social Worker asked us how we were going to spell his name so it forced us to make a decision! ~:-)

We now begin the paperwork telling China that we intend to adopt Guo Rong and that we have identified resources to help him get the care he needs. Then China will pull our file and put it with his. After they complete their side of the paperwork for this step then they will send us a form called the Letter of Acceptance. Our Social Worker said that once we receive this form it is pretty easy to predict when we will travel. She said they will typically send the Travel Approval about a month after the Letter of Acceptance, allowing us to travel about 2 weeks after that. Once we get the LOA, we can apply for our visas, etc.

Her prediction for our travel was between the end of September and Thanksgiving. Because our dossier has already been reviewed in China, she is assuming it will be on the shorter side rather than the longer. So, more than likely it will be October.

Thanks to everyone for being so excited for us! We are thrilled.

Introducing Zachary Samuel

2007-07-10T12:28:00.000-05:00

Here is our son! We are beyond excited. I don't know what to do with myself. It is incredible to watch how God answered our request for a preschool aged girl with a handsome 8 year old boy! And we know that he is the perfect child for our family. Our girls have been so excited about welcoming him home. We hope to travel in October and boy! do we have lots to do to get ready for him. We need boy clothes and we need to paint his bedroom something besides PINK! We are overjoyed and praising God!

We are still deciding on how to spell his name (so many choices for that!). He is currently in Liaoning Province in the city of Dalian. His birthday is 4/30/1999 and has been in foster care since he was 5. He attends the Liaoning School for the foundling and will be in 3rd grade when he comes home. That puts him right in the middle of the gap between our girls. They are currently 12, 10 and 5 (almost 6). So they will be 7th grade, 5th, 3rd and 1st! Perfect spacing!

"I prayed for this child, and the Lord has granted me what I asked of him." 1 Samuel 1:27

Now we wait!

2007-07-08T20:34:00.000-05:00

Well, we requested to be matched with Guo Rong, the adorable 8 year old boy on Bethany's latest Child of Promise list! The requests had to be in to Grand Rapids by 12:00 noon on Monday, July 9 and they said they would let families know by Tuesday, July 10. There is a chance we will find out on Monday, but at least we don't have to wait so very long.

This was such an incredible decision. Eliza kept reminding us that if he is not meant to be in our family, we won't be matched with him so therefore we should simply send in the request! Such wisdom from our daughter and she is so right. We simply want what God wants for our family, nothing more and nothing less. We struggled with his initial diagnosis, which was a potentially debilitating skin disease causing his limp. We had decided that we were not able to handle that, but thought we may as well ask if China could clarify his report since our pediatrician, as well as my brother who was here for a visit, said the information didn't make sense. We asked our Social Worker, and she asked Grand Rapids, and they actually said they would see what they could find out (which they don't often do). We were shocked to get word last Thursday that China responded to their request for information! They said that the skin condition was no longer an issue; his need is simply that he limps. That changed our thinking completely! We were never really concerned about his age. We know that this presents possible problems with attachment related issues. But we trust God to give us the grace to handle everything that comes with this blessing.

The girls were all excited about the chance to bring him home. I have such a lot of things going through my mind, and I am thrilled to see what God is going to do. Neither Steve nor I entered this adoption process thinking that we would be adopting an 8 year old boy. I had adjusted my thoughts to believing that we would be bringing home another girl. So, now that we are anxiously waiting to see if we will be allowed to adopt Guo Rong, I am amazed at how God works. It certainly isn't what I thought would happen, but God is working for our good and the good of this precious child. How thankful I am to know that God is in control, because I could not plan things better than He can.

So, we wait until Tuesday! (I am sure not very patiently...)

We made it to July...

2007-07-01T13:56:00.000-05:00

Well, I haven't been very good at posting since there has been nothing much to say. We are still waiting, referrals are still very slowly coming in, and we are still seemingly a long way from knowing who our next child will be!

Bethany did receive another COP list last week with 15 children on it. We are praying about a little 8year old boy on the list with a "slight limp." His need seems so minor but the medical report about his condition is very confusing. The condition the doctors have attributed his limp to doesn't fit the other information on his report. Therefore, we are praying for wisdom as to whether or not we should request this adorable boy. We are realistic about our insurance and ability to care for a need that may be ongoing and require a lot of medical care. If he does have the condition they say, it could be serious. If he doesn't, it may be "just a limp" that could be corrected with therapy. Or it could be anywhere in between the two on the medical needs spectrum. Such confusion! We pray God will make it clear to us what we should do. We want what He wants for us and nothing less!

I do have to say that each time one of these lists come out we are blessed with the attitude of compassion and love that our girls show. All three of them want us to request him! What wonderful hearts they have.

Referrals should be coming out this week. Last months referrals covered only 6 days, so we are praying for a larger batch this time around. We'll see...

Another month down

2007-04-27T09:43:00.000-05:00

I have to say that when the referrals came out at the beginning of April, I was discouraged. The China Center for Adoption Affairs sent out referrals to cover two LIDs (dossiers logged in on October 25th and 26th) for the entire month of March. It was hard not to be disappointed about that. Also, as I shared earlier, our dossier was sent to China exactly 5 years after our dossier was sent requesting Katie (3/8/01 and 3/8/06). Yesterday, April 26, was exactly 5 years after we received our referral for Katie. It's hard knowing that we may have another year to wait for our next child.

But, we are one month closer to our referral. We just don't know how many months we are supposed to wait. God does, though, and this is all in His perfect plan. I can hardly wait to see our child's picture for the first time and finally know who we are waiting for! What an awesome day that will be!

On the brighter side, since we are now looking for a car for Steve, after his Camry broke down on the way to Duluth on Wednesday (it will stay in Duluth, too), I guess we are thankful that we have another year to gather our expenses for this adoption!

As we get to the end of April and the next batch of referrals, I pray for more than two days of LIDs to be referred. Maybe if I keep my requests simple, it will be harder to be disappointed...

Thanks to everyone for praying for peace for us in the wait. We really appreciate you!

We Are So Blessed

2007-04-16T12:34:00.000-05:00

Here is something that touched my heart. Adoption is difficult to understand for those who have not experienced its incredible blessing. I think this explains the blessing wonderfully.

We Are So Blessed

We have the opportunity to pray and wait and plan and hope and dream
and work for our child. Circumstances don't allow us to take our
child for granted - ever. We do all these things for so long and at
such great emotional cost, that when our child is finally in our
arms, we truly cherish every minute. Every second...

We are blessed to be in our child's life. We are blessed that God
planned for us to be a family, and that we were given the
opportunities that brought us together. We get to see all the best
parts of mankind in our wonderful children. All the goodness and
potential and innocence and ambition and confidence and love. And
what a beautiful sight that is...

We are blessed to have run this race. It is long and, very often, it
is practically impossible to complete. But we run anyway, and
believe in ourselves and our child enough to do the impossible. We
run, knowing that at the end of this great race, a child is waiting
for a chance at a wonderful life. And we get to be the ones to give
her that life.

We are blessed that when our child laughs, we are the ones to hear
it. And when our child cries, we are the ones she looks for. When
our child feels pain or joy or accomplishment or excitement, she
shares it with us.

We are so blessed to have had the chance to see life from a
different angle. To see that things don't always go as you planned
them out in the 5th grade- but that better things are in store. To
be part of the few who feel constantly misunderstood. To be one who
always has to be on guard against the rude and ignorant comment. To
feel the frustration of not having the perfect comeback to that
comment until three hours later. Our kids can use those experiences
and lessons we have learned. We are deeper, stronger, more
compassionate people because of this journey. And the world our
children live in is better because we have grown in these ways.

Our child is blessed. She is patted and hugged and nestled and
rocked and kissed and squeezed and taught and tickled and corrected
and praised. She is told of her value in God's eyes. She is certain
of her value in our eyes. And she never wonders if she will be cared
for tomorrow or the next day...she sleeps comfortably each night,
safe in our care.

We should tell our children we are proud. We have saved and
scrimped, prayed and begged, planned and schemed, worked and
worried, and hoped endlessly for them. We have dedicated years of
our lives to finding them and bringing them home to their forever
family. And we have given our whole hearts to them even before we
ever saw that precious face.

Now that is love. And parents who adopt know all about that...

Author unknown

We received our first "shower" present!

2007-03-19T19:26:00.000-05:00

Today was exciting. I belong to an online group of Christians adopting from China, affectionately nicknamed the "ladybugs". I participated in my first "cyber shower" which had a bedtime theme. Well, today we received our child's first gift! Jessica sent our little girl two beautiful silky nightgowns (with ladybugs on them, of course), a book of prayers and a really cute book about the moon, which actually acts as a night light. I have never seen one like it before. It was really fun to receive something for our little one. Jessica is also trying to adopt a little girl who is older, so hopefully she bought her daughter one of those beautiful nightgowns! Thanks Jessica.

NewSong-China Rescue

2007-03-16T12:01:00.001-05:00

To listen to this video, you will need to stop the Steven Curtis Chapman video at the bottom of the page.

Jessica shared this with an online group I belong to. It says so much and is truly heartwrenching. Please watch it...

Bethany has a new COP list!

2007-03-09T10:31:00.000-06:00

It's incredible but Bethany has just received a new COP (Children of Promise) list yesterday. This is a little over a month after the last one. Normally, they come about every 3 or 4 months, so this is great. I like to think that this means China is working at getting more children out of orphanages and set into families! We are still thinking that we will be patient and wait, rather than requesting one of the children on this list, but we are open to God's leading.

We are out of review!

2007-03-07T16:22:00.000-06:00

We just found out that China has reviewed all dossiers logged in through March 31, 2006! This is a significant step because it means that we have officially been approved by the China Center for Adoption Affairs (CCAA) to adopt one of their children! They did not ask any questions, and required nothing more from us while they reviewed our dossier, which is good. This is basically the last step before being matched with a child. Unfortunately, this doesn't mean that we will be matched any sooner, since we are still waiting our turn in line, but it does mean that our dossier is progressing!

Referrals and the wait

2007-03-06T15:45:00.000-06:00

Well, as I learn how to work with this site, I will try to keep you updated on the happenings in the China adoption world. Yesterday, we learned that China had issued referrals to all dossiers with an LID of 10/14/05 to 10/24/05. This is only 11 days worth of referrals for the month of February. That is a little depressing, since that means it will take China a full three months to match all of October 2005 LIDs. At this rate, it will take us 3 years to get our referral! Don't worry, I know that won't happen, but it would be nice if they would pick up the pace a little... Those that just received their referrals have waited 16-17 months for their referral. Who knows, maybe next month, China will match an entire month worth of LIDs! Here's hoping!

Welcome to our new website!

2007-03-04T15:43:00.000-06:00

We are so excited to share our journey to China with you! We realized that God was calling us again to adoption in December of 2005, and started gathering all the documents needed for our 2nd adoption. It was definately easier this time around, since we knew more about what to expect in this process. Our Dossier (the packet of information containing all information about us that is required by China) requesting a child was sent to China on March 8, 2006. This is exactly five years after our dossier was sent to China during our adoption of Katie! Our Log In Date (LID) is March 24, 2006. It is this date that China uses to process requests. So, we have been waiting almost a year now. China has experienced a slow down in their process. We are hoping to receive our referral for our child this fall. It would be wonderful if it could be sooner, but it may, in fact, be later than that. We are trying to be patient.

Thanks for visiting us!