ADOPTION, AS AN INSTITUTION, BECAME NECESSARY AS A RESULT OF THE FALL

I am always thinking about adoption. Out of necessity, certainly, it comes to mind considering our family makeup. But also out of concern for the children available for adoption and those families built using adoption. So many topics within the subject are controversial. Even adoption itself is controversial. There are many who think adoption is wrong, even within the Christian community. They think that children are to be raised by biological parents, period. If that can't happen (as with "true" orphans), they need to stay within the extended family, but must never go outside the culture. In the Christian community there are those on the fringe who think that adoption invites generational sin into a family, from the biological family of the adopted child. Whatever side people are on, they are generally firmly set in their opinion.

What I have realized is that the institution of adoption is a necessary result of the fall of man in the Garden of Eden.

God, Himself, envisioned adoption. It was His plan for redemption for the fallen human race. We are told in Scripture that God "predestined us to be adopted as sons" from the beginning of time. Adoption is His idea. It is His way of bringing those who recognize that they need Him as a Father into His family. In adopting us, we are not second class citizens. We are co-heirs with Christ. Adoption is the beautiful way God chose to build His family.

It is also a beautiful way for us to build ours.

However, it is only because we are fallen as a result of sin in the garden that we need God to adopt us, and that children need to be adopted in order to have an earthly family. Think about it. Why are children available for adoption?

First, there are "true" orphans; those whose parents have died. Death entered the human picture with the fall in the garden. Until that time, death was not a part of the plan for Adam and Eve and their decendents.

Second, children are available to be adopted because a woman suffered rape or incest, resulting in the birth of a child they don't feel able to parent. Again, because of the fall of man.

Then, after that, we have a number of different reasons, some the same, some completely different in each situation. We have people who have biological children that they do not feel they can parent, and they decide to relinquish their parental rights to their child. The most common situation is when two unmarried people, in their lust, make a decision that results in an "unwanted" pregnancy. Yes, our sinful, fallen nature is at work. Many times, the mother is young, immature, not financially able to care for herself, let alone a child. A decision must be made about what will happen to that child. If abortion is not a choice (praise God when that happens), these people must decide what is best for them and the child.

Sometimes, a child becomes available for adoption after the child is older and has been through very difficult times in their family. The parents are determined to be unfit and the child is taken from them. Usually for neglect, abuse or other traumatic situations for the child. Oh, the fall of man is hard at work in these situations.

Then, there is the child available for adoption because an adoptive family determines that they, for a variety of reasons, can't parent this child. This is the most controversial. Sadly, these children are usually the product of past home lives so terrible that have caused them to become terrors to their new families. If you can't see the sin nature at work in this situation, you aren't being realistic.

As I consider each of these situations, I realize that there is no one way to view the relinquishment of children. There is no right or wrong answer that will work in every situation. No one can sit at a desk with the family's information and say relinquishment is sinful, or the right answer. Every relinquishment is different resulting from different circumstances.

I have known stories of the relinquishment of adoptive children that, were I in their shoes, I have a feeling I would make the same choice. Other situations, I am pretty sure are the result of selfishness. Thankfully, I am not their judge. It's too hard a job for anyone but Christ.

What I do know, is that there are relinquishments made by young, single women, that are good decisions; both for the child and the mother/father. There are also some that are made with complete selfishness. The mother or father is mature enough and financially able to accept the responsiblity for their choice that caused this child to be created. Their reasons for relinquishing are simply a lack of desire to give up dreams, or the financial resources that raising a child would bring. No choice is automatically right or wrong; the circumstances and the hearts of those involved are going to be judged by the only one able to make that call.

The same goes for relinquishment of adopted children. I know many think this is always wrong. I used to be one of those. But, I do know that if relinquishment can be the right choice for a biological child, that there are times that it is the right choice for an adopted child. We are products of a fallen world. Somewhere along the line, a poor decision was made, or parents died, and a child was left without a family. This fact alone leaves stereotyping out of the question. The scars of this may leave a child unable to be cared for by any but those capable of handling their particular needs. If newborns should be relinquished in certain situations to have their needs met, then certainly it can be true in the case of an adopted child.

Whether the adoptive parents relinquished with their own desires in mind (i.e. the desire for less trouble/difficulty, more peace or a more compliant child, etc), or the very real needs of the child to have a home where they can succeed and be cared for in a more complete way, is for them to know, and something for which they will be accountable to God. Not me.

The fact remains, though, that every single child deserves a home and family that loves them unconditionally, as God loves us. That was His plan for us in bringing us to His family, and that remains His plan for children here on earth. That is why He COMMANDS us to care for orphans. Yes, they deserve to be loved. They are treasures whether they are difficult, or not. They are each unique and special. They are a gift.

Wow, has it really been two years??!!!

Well, I can't imagine anyone is following this blog anymore, but I decided that, just in case someone still is, I should tell you how it is going.

We had our homecoming with Zach 2 years ago, on October 24, 2007. I simply can't believe the time has gone so quickly. Zach's transition has not been without its struggles, but I have to say that it has gone so much better than we ever hoped or dreamed it would.

To recap, he was in an orphanage for the first 4 1/2 years of his life. This was followed by 2 years in a less-than-ideal foster home and 1 1/2 years at a boarding school for 600-800 other orphans. The more we learn about the boarding school, the less we like what we are learning.

On paper, Zach should have had Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD). He was a prime candidate for it, having spent so much time at the beginning of his life in the orphanage. Not to mention that the boarding school was just another glorified orphanage. Sure, he was in a foster home, but it was not a good situation. We had very little to go on when we recognized that God was calling us to this precious little boy. His referral information came with 1 1/2 pages of mostly dry information, giving us little to use in making a decision. And, actually, as we found out later, it was somewhat fabricated, as well. But, that didn't deter us. We knew what the experts said about out-of-birth-order adoptions. We knew that most people would not adopt an older boy, especially when they had a younger girl at home. But, we also knew this is what God wanted for us and we chose to walk through the door God left open.

God had made it perfectly clear He wanted us to bring home this particular child, in a way that He hadn't done with the other children we were interested in adopting. In Zach's case we asked questions we didn't expect China to answer; we expected answers that would lead us away from him; we had people telling us not to consider him because he was already set in his culture, etc, etc. God took all these concerns and said they didn't matter. China answered us, with answers that brought us to Zach, rather than farther away; our concerns for an older child or out of birth order adoption were dismantled by godly counsel from godly friends; and, most importantly, God opened the door wide to bring him home.

With the other children we chose, God either closed the door by not allowing us to be matched with them, or He took it out of our ability to even request that we be considered to be their parent. One little boy in particular, was recently brought up by an aquaintance of mine accusatorily as proof that Steve and I were not willing to accept adopting a child with RAD. However, in this case, the phone call from our social worker telling us about their findings on his abuse was the same phone call that told us they were no longer the placing agency. They had moved responsibility for his placement to another agency better able to handle his situation. Our paperwork was with Bethany. God took it out of our ability to choose him. Choosing not to go out of your way to pursue adopting a particular child is not the same as saying "no" to adopting that child. As a matter of fact, we never had the opportunity to say "YES!" We simply didn't go out of our way to pursue him at extra expense and added paperwork. We were following God in each stage of our adoption. When He closed doors, we honored that. When He left them open, we obediently walked through. Again, on paper, Zach should have had RAD, yet we answered a joyful "YES" when God asked us to parent him.

I don't share all that to prove that we are better than anyone else. I simply don't want anyone to feel that I am championing the adoption of children we would not be willing to parent ourselves. Steve and I have always been willing to step out in faith and parent the children God chose for us, whomever that was or is yet to be. This is a calling for EVERYONE! If God is calling you to parent a child through adoption, you MUST say "yes." If you don't, quite simply, you are out of His will and walking in fear of His calling.

Despite all of this potential for major difficulties when he arrived home, he has shown no signs of RAD, and has adjusted beautifully. I don't know why God, in His wisdom, chose to keep us and Zach from dealing with RAD. I don't know why others who have adopted (and even those who have not!) have had to struggle, painfully, with this condition. That's not for me to understand. All I know is that, when you are faithful to God's calling He will be there with you in that calling. He will provide what you need to get through it. He will lead you to the help you need. He will provide the support and means to handle whatever comes with that calling. The calling to adopt is not one to shy away from, and not one of which we need to be fearful. The children are too precious for us to be afraid to give them the love they deserve.

Not everyone will experience such a relatively easy transition. By no means! But, just as there are no guarantees it will be easy, there are also no guarantees it will be difficult. Most adoptions fall somewhere in between. And, I should add -- MOST PARENTING EXPERIENCES, WHETHER ADOPTED OR BIOLOGICAL, will be somewhere in between the easy and the extremely difficult. There are no guarantees in parenting. Period.

The difficulties we are currently having with Zach stem from schooling. During his 8 years in China, where they assumed his cerebral palsy affected him cognitively, he was told over and over that he wasn't able to do things. We are still trying to work out what is truly difficult for him, and what is simply a believed difficulty for him. They are drastically different. I am not sure when we will have answers. Maybe not for years. But we will continue to work with him and his teachers to discover the truth.

His personality is so sweet. He is compassionate. He is helpful. We recently had one of his AWANA leaders share that Zach has come such a long way, spiritually, in the 2 years he has been here. This man had tears in his eyes as he shared that when they asked for someone to pray for the kids that were out sick, Zach volunteered and offered a prayer that was "like his mother" who has been a Christian her entire life. This is the most important part of parenting Zach. Whether we get answers on his academic abilities or not, we desire to raise a godly boy into a godly man. One whose character shines wherever he goes.

I think we are on the right track.

My heart for encouraging the adoption of older children

It is 3:45 am and I can’t seem to get the older children waiting for their families off of my mind. God won’t let me. They are on His mind, too. How about yours?

What comes to your mind when you think about adopting an older child? Are you afraid to think about it? Do you think that it is not something you can handle? Do you have younger children and think that you can’t adopt out of birth order? Do the stories of difficulties others have had in their older child adoption come to mind? All of these things came to my mind before we decided to request our 8 year old son one year ago. I have been there. I understand.

We have had Zach home for 8 months now. It’s long enough to know that he is a precious gift. It is not long enough to know that we are past any possible difficulties that may still come our way. But, no matter what we have in store, we have been blessed and will continue to be blessed by our willingness to lay our decision at the sovereign feet of our Savior. The world would tell us that it is not wise to adopt an older child, especially an older boy. The world would tell us it is not wise to bring home a child older than our youngest. The world DID tell us “you and Steve are going to have nothing but trouble.”

Thankfully, we listened to the wisdom of our loving and merciful God, instead, and said “YES!” when He asked us to make Zach our son and brother. God’s wisdom is more compassionate, more loving and more complete than that offered by the world. The world only looks at the past and projects statistics to make us doubt the value of these older children and our responsibility for them as Christians. God gives us a future and a hope, and the knowledge that we can do all things through Christ who strengthens us.

We could have let the fear stop us. We could have let fear for our youngest daughter get in the way. We could have listened to others as they proclaimed nothing but doom and gloom over our decision. Knowing that this adoption could cause struggles for the children we currently had, we could have decided that we didn’t want to “do that to them.”

As I consider what we “did to them,” I can honestly say that we opened their world to a life of obedience to God. We took a step of faith and answered God’s call with the only answer we could give, and we did it with joy, not fear. We taught our children to see that God has a plan and a purpose for our lives that sometimes goes against what the world says we should do, but that God’s desires for us should come first. We taught them to value people more than things or “conventional wisdom.”

God wants to set the lonely in families (Psalm 68:5-6). Who could be more lonely, or more in need of a family, than an orphan? This verse does not exclude older children, or older boys. This verse does not say that the families into which He will set them must only have older children, if any. This verse is all inclusive of every lonely child, regardless of their circumstances, age or gender.

Adopting an older child is not for everyone. I am not implying that it is something everyone should do, nor can every family handle an out of birth order adoption. And I am not trying to imply that our story will be yours. Every child and every adoption is different. My plea -- my heart's cry -- is for more people to consider whether or not God is calling you to one of these precious children. The called and chosen of Christ are those who need to recognize their inestimable worth. If we don't, who will?

If God is calling you to be open to adopting an older child, please honor Him by looking into it. He wants you to get past the fear and trust Him wherever He takes you. Please request the files of some older children, look into their eyes, and understand that they simply want a home and a family to love them unconditionally. God will be with you. He always is. He loves you too much to give you more than you could handle. And He loves these children so much He is asking His chosen to care for them. Will you, if that is what He wants from you?

"Your hair is like..."

So, we were sitting in church last Sunday. Zach and Katie needed to be separated. We put Katie on the right side of Steve and Zach on the left side of me, hoping that being separated by two parents would be more effective than the one-parent-separation of the week before (which was painful).

Zach was feeling affectionate and wanted me to wrap my arms around him, which I did gladly. He was smiling up at me and talking away before the service began. Then, he puts his arm on my shoulder and runs his hands through my hair. Keep in mind that this is hard to do because my hair is getting so long (still short, but...) that I need much more hairspray to keep it in place. He gets this cute look on his face and continues to feel my hair. Very touching. Then he sweetly looks at me and says:

"Your hair is like a tree."

I laugh; Steve laughs; the woman in front of us (a friend, thankfully) laughs. I realized that, when you put that much hairspray on your hair, it can feel a little like BARK!

Yes, his English is coming along!

Just had to share a laugh. More pictures of Zach now riding his bike without training wheels (YEAH Zach!!!), coming. And, by the way, when you put a lot of pressure on really strong training wheels, they do eventually get warped! We were so proud when he took off after the first try without them.

Praising God for wonderful news!

I am stunned. Zach was scheduled to have his eye surgery to correct strabismus (crossing of the eye) this Thursday. We went to see the eye doctor today for a pre-surgery exam and he no longer needs the surgery! Praise God! When we visited in January, his eyes were crossing at 9 degrees. They are now at under 5! She said she would consider this outcome a "successful surgery" had he had the surgery. The doctor can't explain it. She said this just doesn't happen in a child this age -- maybe an infant, but not an 8 year old. She suggested that it could be due to better nutrition, but I know that it is because so many people have been praying for Zach! We couldn't be happier, and neither could Zach. He was so excited. When we got outside, he gave me a "high 5" and wanted to talk to everyone, even the church secretary, and tell them that he didn't need surgery, his eyes were better. He thanked people for praying for him (which is, in itself, a huge praise!).

God is good, and He does answer prayer.

Also, we received some wonderful news about Zach's MRI results. Apparently, there was an interruption in the development of his brain one or two weeks after conception (amazing what they can see), which caused a cleft that corresponds to the left sided weakness from which he suffers. There was nothing new to report and we have no new "issues" we need to manage! Hallelujah! All praise goes to a loving and merciful God who does listen to our prayers.

In Christ,
Cindy

Zach had his MRI today...

Zach had his MRI today to determine if his cerebral palsy was caused by trauma or a stroke in utero, and what parts of his brain were affected. He did well. We will find out in a week or so what the results are.


Since it is important to know about any possible metal implants or fragments in a body before an MRI (I don't think they can do it if there is), I had to answer questions about this. But I obviously couldn't answer questions about whether or not he had ever suffered an injury from a metal object. I also could not answer questions about the eye surgery Zach told us he had in China. We had nothing on his paperwork about it, but when we told him he was having eye surgery here, he described in detail a surgery he had in China. So,when they asked about eye surgery, all I could say is "he says he had it, if that's true, I don't know what they did." So, they did x-rays of his face to make sure they had not implanted any metal.


Then, realizing that he spent 8 years in an orphanage, they had the interpreter ask Zach about some scars that I had noticed on his body. This brought up stories of injuries suffered at the hands of other children. The interpreter had difficulty telling me what he was saying because she was upset, and Zach obviously didn't want to talk about it. They stopped after discussing two scars and, again, since we could not be sure that he had not been hit or cut with a metal object, they did x-rays of the rest of his body, to make sure there were no fragments left over.


This really brought home, once again, the unknowns of the lives older adopted children have lead before. It makes me so sad for the children who still don't have a family to protect them from the realities of orphanage life. It makes me sad that I can't answer these questions for him as completely as I can answer them for my oldest two, and even Katie who was brought home at 10 months old. It makes me sad that he has these memories. Children don't belong in orphanages. They belong in families.



Caution, here's my soapbox addition:


What is more important to you? Is it more important for you to have a luxury car, or for a child to have a loving family? Did you know that the difference in cost between a luxury car and a relatively nice car is approximately the cost of an adoption, which could help a family who couldn't otherwise afford to adopt a child?

Is it more important for you to have large savings/retirement account for your future, or for people with nothing to have a future to hope for?

Do you need lots of fancy furnishings? Or is it more important for your neighbor to have food and clothing?

These are real choices we make when we open up our checkbook. I am not condemning decisions we all have made that benefit ourselves. I just think it is important for us all (me included!) to recognize more often the good that can be done for Christ when we make decisions about what to do with our money.

Christians are called to love their neighbor as themselves. If we are truly honoring this command, then our neighbors needs would be met before our wants are met. Certainly this is very hard to do. It is not something we can do perfectly. But we should at least try. Of course, we can spend our money on ourselves. Scripture doesn't say we can't, and I am not implying that we can't. But our desire and our priority should be reaching the lost and giving them the hope we have in Christ. Having nice things is certainly not a crime. But we do run the risk of failing to see that we have built up too many treasures here on earth that moths and rust will destroy, that could instead have been stored up in heaven. Christ warned us against this.


Yes, God can bless us when we honor him. But I find nowhere in Scripture that says he blesses us materially so that we can glorify ourselves. We should use His blessings to HIS glory, not ours. After all, when he places material blessings in the hands of Christians, isn't he putting back in His own hands? As Christians, we should be more excited about reaching others with the message of the gospel and offering eternal hope, something Christ would be excited about, rather than having lots of expensive things. That is what it means to "delight in the Lord." The health and wealth heresy has crippled the message of Christ because there are so many material blessings spent to the glory of individuals, leaving so much kingdom work undone. As John Piper said in a sermon I heard last year: God is NOT glorified when Christians drive expensive cars and wear expensive suits.


All of the heresies that offer us excuses to spend so much on ourselves are leaving children in orphanages. Our indifference is causing some of them to live lives we would not wish on our worst enemy.

Happy Easter!

He is RISEN! Hallelujah!

Well, we just returned from our Easter vacation to the Smoky Mountains of Tennessee. We had a great time, despite the various illnesses that plagued us before and during our trip. In the weeks before we left, Eliza was sick, then Katie, then Maddie, then Katie again. Katie suffered from a fever for 6 days prior to leaving, ended up on the prenisolone and was REALLY crabby. But, by Friday when we left, we were no longer nebulizing her and we no longer gave her the steroid. She was the only healthy one during the trip. I was on antibiotics for a strep infection diagnosed on Wednesday. Steve developed an awful cold. Maddie awoke in the middle of Saturday night with a fever of 101 and Zach woke on Sunday morning with a low grade fever that rose during the day. He slept for most of the day Monday.

Our cabin was beautiful and the scenery was breathtaking.

My mom and sister drove down separately and ended up in Jellico, TN on Saturday night with a bad alternator. They came on Sunday just in time to say goodbye to my brother and his friend who had driven up from Atlanta for the weekend. It was good to see them and we were sorry they had to leave so soon. On Tuesday, we experienced the challenge of finding a doctor to see Maddie, who had developed severe ear pain on Monday night. Apparently, there is only one MD in all of Pigeon Forge, and he is a sweet old man who went there to "retire" 17 years earlier. The town obviously needs him. He told us how he waited in line for a tattoo while in the Marines, but the wait was too long so he gave up. He was going to put "Louise," his high school sweet heart on his arm, but ended up marrying Margaret! Anyway, we now had antibiotics for Maddie's ear infection and I achieved a milestone on Wednesday -- I did not have to take anyone's temperature the entire day! We were definately on the road to recovery!

Despite all the illnesses, we had fun. We drove through Cade's Cove in the Smoky Mountains

(too worn out to do any hiking...), went horseback riding, swam in the pool in the basement of our cabin, relaxed in the hot tub on the deck, went to Dixieland Stampede, and generally enjoyed the time away.

Zach was having a great time with all these new adventures. He loves swimming and looked so proud on his horse, Sugar. But, sorry to say for my mom and sister who are big outdoors people -- Zach didn't seem too impressed with the scenery.... But, he was impressed with the trucks and other machinery that we passed or saw on the mountain roads. He is all boy!

The kids were all pretty good travelers. We had movies for them to watch which is certainly a life saver. My, have times changed from when I was a kid traveling by car across the country with only books to occupy my time!

Zach's language has continued to progress beautifully. Although, there are certainly times that I realize I am the only one who can translate what he says. It's typical toddler language that no one understands but mom or dad. Friday, we left really early from the cabin to get on the road. We planned to stop along the way for breakfast. I asked all the kids to brush their teeth before we left and we about getting stuff gathered up. Steve came and told me that Zach looked really confused. He was walking around the kitchen holding his toothbrush and saying "bookasa?" Steve didn't know what to do for him. To me, it was clear what was happening! Zach wanted to know why I was having him brush his teeth before he ate his "bookasa." After all, anyone should know that "bookasa" is "breakfast!" Zach was mad that his dad didn't understand!

Otherwise, in the transition and adjustment department, Zach is testing his boundaries quite a bit now. This is good. It is something all children will do, no matter whether they are adopted or biological. They need to know how far they can push the envelope if they don't want to obey. So, as we experience this, we understand that it is part of his learning how to respond to these new experiences of having parents, siblings and expectations that come along with family life. It is admittedly hard to impose consequences to misbehaviors when we are not sure he understands either what he has done wrong, or what is the outcome of that choice to disobey. But, this is coming along, too. The language is blossoming and the understanding of what is expected is getting there, too. He is a sweet boy. Most of the time, when he is disciplined, he will apologize again for it the next day. This tells me that he is thinking about what happened and continuing to process it. All of this is good.

Another milestone we have reached: Our 6 month homestudy was completed last night! Wow, time is flying by...

Zach and his classmates when he was "star of the week."

Updates on fun stuff (and medical, too)

Katie and Simone

Zach and Dad all dressed up for church (Zach loved it!)

A lot has happened lately! We have had a lot of fun, including a trip to the Wisconsin Dells to meet up with some adoption friends. Our wonderful friends, Dan and Nicole, brought home their daughter Simone at the same time we brought home Katie. They were buddies during our adoption trip and they are still buddies now. They are adorable together. Unfortunately, this trip also included a bout with asthma by Katie, which required a 10:00 p.m. trip to a wonderful Walgreens who kept the store open 10 minutes for Steve to buy a new nebulizer. Yes, Katie's nebulizer chose this moment to stop working! Katie was generally under the weather on Saturday, but we still managed to have fun.


We also met up with the family of Zach's friend Nina, who came to our hotel for dinner on Saturday. All of our girls had a great time with their friends, and Zach looked forward to his time with Nina, constantly asking from the time he awoke on Saturday if Nina was coming now?


As for swimming at the Great Wolf Lodge, let's just say it was a hit! Zach stayed in the water as long as possible, went down the mat races with his sisters, swam round and round in the lazy river, was flipped over on his tube in the wave pool, etc.


So here is a challenge question for you all:

-- if you didn't know the word for "flip-flops" (you know, those plastic shoes you wear in the summer -- some call them thongs), what would you choose to call them if you wanted to talk about them?

How about -- Swimming Pool Slippers? Sounds good to me! Zach really wanted some, as we prepared for our trip, and this is what he decided made the most sense to get this point across... (I have to admit I love it!)

Then, after the fun weekend, Zach had a "few" medical appointments! He started with a pediatric opthamologist. The result of this visit is a surgery scheduled on April 10 to detach and reattach his eye muscles. He has strabismus (crossing of the eye) and alternating esotropia (which means he uses each eye at different times). With the strabismus, he sees double. So, his brain has compensated for this by shutting down the vision to one eye at a time. He has good vision in each eye because he continues to use both, just not together. The surgery will hopefully get his eyes pointed in the same direction. There is a 20-25% chance that they will over or under correct during the surgery and, if so, he will need another surgery.

Interesting note: Zach apparently had surgery on his eyes in China. He knows what is going on, and is very excited about it! I think he realizes that it will help him.

After this visit, he met with a neurologist. She said she does not like the term "cerebral palsy" as it is a "garbage term" that many things get dumped into. So, she is calling his condition hemiplegia, which is basically that one side is weak. This doesn't change the diagnosis, really, since this is still a condition caused by damage to the brain at some point before or just after birth. Zach will still meet with a specialist in March to discuss options for gaining mobility and flexibility in his muscles. He was fitted for a brace that day and has since started using it. Again, he is excited about this because he recognizes that it is helping him walk and run!

She has scheduled an MRI on March 26 to determine whether he had a stroke in the womb or trauma that caused the damage, and the extent of the damage. We are not worried about cognitive damage, since he is continuing to do well in school. He has had three spelling tests at school now and has scored 100% on each! Go Zach!

Finally, he had a major teeth cleaning. He had a great deal of plaque and bacteria built up under his gums that needed to be scraped away. His breath is much more pleasant these days!

Through it all, he has been a trooper. He knows we are helping him. He knows these steps are necessary. It is a huge benefit that he understands this, since this will keep him from resenting wearing the brace, which he will be wearing all day, every day as soon as he becomes used to wearing it.

That's our news! I will try to keep you all informed at a much greater pace!

Life with Zach can be funny!

Here are some pictures of life as we currently know it. Katie had her first piano recital (after vowing she wasn't going to play in a recital before she started having lessons). Sledding is great fun (obviously) as is playing outside in general. Zach also has taken on the task of being a teacher at times. He makes chopsticks look SO EASY! We just don't get it. Most of the time, he simply gets frustrated and hands us our fork.

Zach is fun. He is always exploring whatever there is around that can be explored. He wants to know how things work. Actually, he just simply wants to know.

At one point, just a few weeks after we came home, he must have wanted to know what would happen if he threw his slipper over the deck railing. Well, nothing happened. I kept wondering what happened to the other slipper, but couldn't get him to understand enough to tell me. Then, the other day, I ran across the single slipper again. I said, more to myself, "Boy, Zach, I sure would like to know what happened to that other slipper..." So, he promptly took me to the patio door and motioned over the railing. I asked if he threw it over, he said "Yeah." I may never know what was going through his head when he decided to do that. He may have thought there is an endless supply of slippers, since there seems to be no end to the appearance of things he needs. After all, we have so much here, is there really a shortage of slippers if I get rid of one? Since that slipper is now under a foot or so of snow, I will have to wait until spring to really discover what happened to it.

Other times, he just accepts things at face value and doesn't question them.

Like last Monday. The kids were going back to school after their break was over. Everyone was scurrying around since they were off their morning routine having two weeks off. I was making sure everyone was getting dressed. During the break, I had been trying to give Zach a little more control over his choice of clothing. He tends not to stay on task (there is always something to explore in his room), so it is easier to simply lay out the clothes rather than have him take time to choose. On Monday, when the kids were getting ready for school, I told Zach it was time to get dressed. I went in to help him choose and he picked out a dress shirt that I had bought. He had wanted to wear it for playing but I had told him it was for school/church. So, since he chose that, I picked out a pair of jeans and khakis. I put them both on his bed and told him he could wear one of these with the shirt and left to allow him to dress.

That night, when he put his pajamas on, I noticed that he had worn both! The jeans were over the khakis. Steve and I laughed, and Steve explained that you only wear one pair of pants. Zach complained and said "Mama!" It was not until then that I realized he thought I wanted him to wear both! This would not be unusual, since they layer their clothing in China. If you remember, when Zach came to us, he was wearing (in the beginning of Oct) his sweatpants and sweatshirt over his longjohn-style pajamas. Apparently the children coming home from China now are wearing 3 layers! It was what he used to do, so it made sense to him. The only thing I can say is, I feel badly for him when he had to use the bathroom! One zipper is hard enough to manage, but 2! Poor guy!

Then, there was the case of Steve's Disappearing Running Shoes...

Steve last saw them at the beginning of December. We searched the entire house, every logical hiding place. We knew Zach had a hand in this caper. We just couldn't get him to confess (or I guess I should say "understand"). He loves to tease Dad by wearing his shoes around the house. So, Steve finally admitted defeat in the solving of the case and gave in and bought another pair (and, for those that don't know, they are NOT cheap!). Every once in a while, we would ponder what could have happened to them.

Then came the thaw...

I was playing with Baylee one day last week. The weather had warmed up a lot and the snow was starting to melt. I walked down the deck stairs and there they were, one still half buried in the snow and the other lying upside down nearby. Mystery solved! Steve is attempting to get them dry enough to use (he likes these better in the cold). We are now realizing the importance of getting the point across that teasing Dad is ok. Just keep the shoes in the house!

Take care, everyone!

Happy New Year

As I look at the date of my last post, I have to admit that I have been slacking in my duties. I do apologize about that!

We have had a wonderful December. We continue to be amazed by Zach's ability to accept his new reality with so much grace and patience. His Christmas was a joy. His teacher, Mrs Wu, had explained the idea of a wish list for presents so Zach told her that he wanted a new wagon. We have one that has been through about 11 years of use and has definately seen better days. He was so excited when he opened that Radio Flyer classic red wagon, he couldn't wait to get it together. He had a great time with his grandparents, aunts, uncle and cousins. He simply enjoyed the days of Christmas in a way that is hard to explain.

That night, he was also able to speak to Nina, who told him what Christmas is really about -- Jesus. We couldn't be more thankful to this little girl who was so excited about what she recently learned that she wanted to share it with a friend. What a lesson to those of us who have known Him for a long time. How excited are we to share what we know? That was truly our best gift this Christmas. It was the one piece of the difficulty with communication that we were sad about. We, ourselves, were unable to share our joy in knowing Christ as our Savior with our son. But Nina could. And she did. Praise God! Now we are simply praying that this new seed of knowledge will sprout and that Zach will ponder what he has learned.

We have also had more insight into our precious son, through what Nina has shared with her family. It is a blessing that this friend of Zach's has relatives that live 15 minutes from us! They were here for a short visit on Sunday and it was such a blessing! We truly enjoyed meeting Nina, her sisters and her parents. They are a wonderful family that we are thankful to know.

Anyway, Nina said that our little boy was "one of the nicest boys at the school." Sadly, though not surprisingly, he was teased at school for it. We saw a larger glimpse of this compassion when we had to take Katie to the doctor on Sunday for her asthma. We had started her on an oral steroid the day before and it simply wasn't doing anything for her. We were worried that she would need to go the the ER and the girls explained this to Zach. While we were gone, he cried and sat staring at her picture. Even Maddie couldn't cheer him up. When we returned with a fairly decent report (no pneumonia, at least), he wouldn't leave her side. Even with the sibling rivalry that rears its ugly head, there is love.

Of course, we have had our other moments of miscommunication and misunderstandings. Like the time when Zach had school on the Friday before Christmas break but his sisters, who attend a different school, did not. They attend a charter school with many Fridays off (and longer school days because of it). We had tried to prepare him for this event beforehand, but he awoke remembering that he had school and they didn't. He pouted and refused to do anything without some major prodding. I knew I could not give in and keep him home that day, or he would get the impression that this behavior works to get what he wants. With many more Fridays coming up where his sisters would be home, he needed to understand that there are days like this, and accept them.

So, I called his teacher to prepare her for the fact that Zach was sad and told her why. She understood the need to send him. She in turn prepared Mrs Wu. When I walked Zach in to school, Mrs Wu told him to dry his tears, and told me to go. Zach did just fine and was excited to tell me about his day when I picked him up.

Parenting an older adopted child, or any adopted child who is struggling with attachment, is a challenge. As parents, we need to determine which behaviors are related to attachment issues, and which are simply normal childhood behaviors designed to manipulate us. Just because we adopted an older child, does not make all problems that arise a manifestation of attachment disorder. Overall, we are so pleased with Zach's attachment to us. He seems to have bonded with all of us. He is excited when one of us returns home, and he gives us hugs when one of us leaves. It was because of this that I could be more comfortable sending him in that situation.

We must always remember that every child will handle this transition differently. There is not a "one size fits all" method of dealing with situations that arise. We just have to do the best we can with the knowledge we have of the situation and our child. We will make mistakes. We will achieve successes. All of it leads to the building of our families.

We wish you all a blessed 2008! May it bring many more children home to the families God intended for them from the beginning of time...

Time is flying and we are sure having fun.

Maddie, Zach, Eliza and Katie

Zach's buddy -- our 100 lb "toddler" -- Baylee

Zach on his new bike!

The front of our house (when it wasn't covered in white!)

And the backyard

Zach is having a great time here in lovely, white, cold Minnesota! We have had a lot of snow, and Zach has been shoveling A LOT of snow! He is such a wonderful helper. He loves to be with his dad and if he sees a tool, he wants to use it! I think I am going to have to buy him his own shovel (so that his dad can get more done ;-).

Recently, I had to repair something in the kitchen. I left to check on something and when I came back, Zach had already reassembled it. If it weren't for the fact that the wood was already splitting, he would have been successful at completing the repair for me. And, the other day, I had a large wrench in my hand to tighten a pipe and Zach stopped playing to follow me and my wrench. What a BOY! That is so unusual around our house. My girls don't want anything to do with tools, unless it is used to put together one of their toys.

Last night, Zach had a chance to talk on the phone to one of his friends from China. He and Nina talked for about half an hour and we had to stop the conversation so that he could take his bath and get to bed. Otherwise, they may have been talking for hours! It was so fun watching him as he talked. He was so excited and laughed and giggled and listened and shared. I am so thankful that my friend Pam told me about the Yahoo group for families with children from Zach's orphange. We have pictures of his friends, we can contact friends, we will hopefully even get together with them in the future! What a joy for Zach and for us. His friends from China are the only people he can talk to who will truly understand what he is going through and what he is feeling. And they are the only ones who will know what he is talking about when he speaks of his past. What a blessing to be able to stay in touch with some of them. Thank you, Nina, for brightening Zach's week! I know he wants to talk again soon.

And, per Nina's request, I have posted pictures from home! She wondered why we hadn't and it is simply because I haven't taken the time to do it.

On a sad and yet happy note, my grandmother went home to her Savior last week. She was 91 and had been missing my grandfather ever since he died so many years ago. They are together now, with Jesus, in a glorious heaven. Zach experienced his first funeral and met lots of relatives. He even remembered to add many of them to his list of people he prays for each night. He named Uncle Chris (my brother who is here from Atlanta) several times! I believe it is a joy for Zach to claim his relatives. We have a family photo that he loves to carry around and name each person in the picture. Again, something we take for granted too often -- family. May we follow Zach's example and remember how special it is to have them.

I am truly thankful.

As with every Thanksgiving, I can say that I am thankful for so many things. First and foremost, I am thankful for a God who loves me so much that He sent His son, Jesus, to die for me that I may have eternal life by believing in Him.

But, this Thanksgiving, I am thankful for something else that many would think odd -- I am thankful that God allowed the fact that Zach has very mild case of Cerebral Palsy to be kept from his referral paperwork.

If that term had been on his paperwork, we likely would not have requested to be matched with him and would have missed out on bringing home a wonderful son. We are human beings with a natural fear of the unknown. Cerebral Palsy is a term that people associate with severly disabled people, only because it is the severe cases that we recognize. I never knew much about the disorder, and still don't. But now, I will be finding out more. I do know that CP contains a vast spectrum of ways it affects people. Some are more severly affected, others like Zach have minimal affectation. But one thing that is important for everyone to realize is that it is not a progressive disorder. The damage to his brain was done at birth (or shortly after) and will not continue to get worse. Zach's disability has not changed, he still has a limp. That is what we knew at the time we requested him, and that is still his disability. The only thing that has changed is that we have a defined reason for that limp. We also now have a course of action to help him walk better and get the most out of the muscle function he has.

As I think about why I would have allowed fear to keep me from requesting Zach, I have to acknowledge some attitudes in me that are not right. Do I think that Zach, because he has a disability, is less worthy of a home with me? Do I think that Zach, because he has a disability, is not worth the time, money, effort made to get him the medical attention he deserves? Do I think that Zach, because he has a disability, is less deserving of the resources with which God has blessed me? Do I think that Zach, because he has a disability, is not worth sharing what we have? These are powerfully convicting questions. God allowed this information to be withheld, because He knows we are human and sinful. I pray that others, presented with the same opportunity, will be able to see these children for what they are -- gifts given by God, deserving of all we have to offer them. That includes our time, money, any other resources we have available to us. God did not give us what we have so that we could spend it all on ourselves, buying luxuries and saving for a wonderful retirement. Too often, we think that His blessings to us are our reward, rather than our responsibility. He gave it to us to share with those who have needs. He gave it to us so that we could spread his love -- that is our responsibility as Christians. We can't do that very well if we keep that with which He has blessed us.

When Zach went to the doctor yesterday, the interpreter was unable to be there. The appointment was running late, even though our appointment was at 8:45 a.m. The doctor was apparently IN A LECTURE!!! I am still frustrated with the idea that a lecture comes before seeing patients that have confirmed appointments. He was over an hour late for our appointment because we were the 2nd appointment of the day. By that time, Zach was very upset and started crying. We tried to console him. After a few minutes, he made a sawing motion across his leg. We were devastated to realize that he thought we were going to have his leg cut off! Poor guy, no wonder he was crying! A child's imagination is a powerful thing. By the end of the visit, he was happier when he realized he was able to keep his leg. He went home and gave me and each of his sisters an exam, complete with x-rays (using his clock/radio as the camera, pointing it in our direction, and turning the music on and off) and range of motion tests on their legs.

Through all of this, I also have a new perspective on thankfulness. When I see Zach's pure enjoyment of things we take for granted, I am reminded of how much we have to be thankful for. We had a slight dusting of snow last night. I remembered that I had not bought boots for him yet so I thought I should take care of that. When Maddie gave him the boots, he smiled a huge smile, put them on and didn't take them off until bedtime. He put them in his cubby right by his bed and the first thing he did when he awoke this morning was get dressed, put them on and go outside to play. He used the wagon the kids have to move stuff around the back yard. He remembered one of his favorite movies, Home Alone, and how Kevin used the sled to slide down the stairs and into the front yard. He took our sled and slid down the deck stairs. He is simply enjoying the freedom to play. He is using his wonderful child's imagination to have fun in a way that was probably not possible before -- on his own, doing what he wants to do.

I am thankful for my family. I am thankful for Zach, and for all of our girls and their hearts to bring home a brother. We are learning so much about thankfulness through this experience.

Praising God for a good cardiologist report!

We are so excited! We were in to see a cardiologist on Friday to check up on Zach's heart murmur and the doctor said that his heart is "perfect!" He does have a murmur (I guess I still don't know exactly what causes that), but apparently 50% of kids his age have a murmur. I had no idea! She also said that rather than kids outgrowing a murmur it is probably more likely that, as they grow, their heart gets farther away from the chest wall so the murmur is no longer detectable with a stethoscope. She also said that a murmur sounds much louder when the patient is anxious (yep, he was scared!)

Zach did NOT like the EKG (I think that was what it was...) or the ultra sound. Even with an interpreter telling him it won't hurt, it looks scary. Anyway, we are thankful to have one medical concern scratched off of our list. Praise God!

Tomorrow, we will go to Gillette to have his limp evaluated. We are looking forward to finally having some answers to this mystery!

To prepare for the visit, we had Mrs Wu ask him to please answer the interpreter's questions. He gets really shy and I am sure he is nervous when he goes to these appointments, so he hardly says a word to the interpreters that we have meeting us at these appointments. Some questions are difficult to answer without his input. Not knowing his history like most parents would does make it interesting. So please pray for answers to the question "What has caused Zach's limp?" It may be simply that one leg is shorter (that would almost be too easy, but would be enough for me!). But, realistically, there may be an underlying reason the leg is shorter that needs to be addressed, too. Whatever it is, we just want to know!

So much to report!

Well, again I am sorry to take so long between posts. There has been so much to say, and I wanted to post pictures of the most important event (Zach started school!), but I can't find my camera! I have a feeling Zach, who loves electronic equipment, may have found a place for it (everything has a place you know ;-). Hopefully I will find the camera and post the pictures but, in the meantime, I want to tell you how well everything is going!

As I said, Zach started school. For those that don't know, our girls attend a charter school. There is a waiting list of over 1500 to get into this school. They do give preference to siblings, but even still, Zach is #11 on the sibling waiting list for his grade. I have to say, though, that we probably would have sent him to our local elementary school anyway. They have an ESL program there and God provided for Zach's needs in a beautiful way -- the only ESL teacher in the entire district who speaks Mandarin Chinese is at this school! I can't tell you what a blessing that was when we found that out. Furthermore, now that we have been the beneficiaries of that blessing for over a week, I can't tell you how much this has made a difference in our decision to send him and how he has handled the transition. We may have made a different decision without this added blessing, since it would have been more of a mystery of how Zach would handle the transition to a new place where no one understands him.

We had an appointment with the principal and the ESL teacher, Mrs Wu, and they both suggested that Zach begin on November 5, and enter 2nd grade. We were very pleased because it is exactly what we wanted for him. His birthday is the end of April and he is certainly not a large kid. It will be great for him to have that extra year to get caught up. He has been adjusting beautifully to his new life and he seems to be bonding well with his entire family. We are the ones he wants to be with. We are the ones he recognizes as his ma-ma and ba-ba and sisters. So, the timing felt right. The aspect of his transition to his new surroundings that will take a lot of time to develop is language. Starting school, especially with the assistance of Mrs Wu, will get that going much more quickly and efficiently than waiting.

I stayed with him the entire first day and then Mrs Wu explained that I would be leaving him on Tuesday. He did so well on Monday that I was less apprehensive. There were several times during the first day that he went off with his class without looking back, so I let him go without me. By the end of the day, his personality was starting to show up (the class clown part, that is!). Tuesday, he was of course a little sad. The teacher (who is a graduate of Bethel and has been to China and on mission trips), recognized this and "assigned" two boys to play blocks with Zach for a half hour. How sweet is that? He was fine the rest of the day. Each day was better and better. Yesterday, even though I thought he would be sad at school since he was still feeling the effects of many vaccinations, he was smiling and laughing the entire day.

We are so thankful for his adjustment so far. We have a long road ahead, but the initial transition has gone so much better than we could have even hoped. PRAISE GOD!

We do have our moments however. Just as he needed to learn that the toilet is not equivalent to a cleaner garbage can, he also needs to learn that a Beta who lives in a vase in the bathroom is not a toy. Nor does he need his fins brushed...

Sadly, yesterday Madeline went into the bathroom only to discover that Milkshake was dead. Definately under suspicious circumstances...

Evidence -- water around the vase, a wet brush nearby, Milkshake had a gash on his side and, yes, Zach had recently been in the bathroom.

Motive -- Curiosity. Zach has never had a "pet fish" before, and could not know that it has a purpose in life.

Conclusion -- Zach would not have purposely killed the Beta, especially had he known that his sisters were attached to the fish and had he known how important Milkshake was to them.

Therefore, we found him guilty of involuntary beta-slaughter. When Steve tried to "ask" him if he put the brush in the bowl, Zach nodded, and shrugged.

We are thankful for Mrs Wu who can explain to him that when Milkshake is replaced with a new Beta he can't put anything in the vase, including his hands, but especially hairbrushes!

Inquiring minds want to know...

if a partially eaten apple can be flushed down the toilet?



Answer: Yes, but not much else can follow! ;-)



Yesterday afternoon, when the toilet didn't flush the way it should, we had a pretty good idea that Zach had decided to flush something that didn't really belong in the toilet. After plunging with no success, Steve went to the hardward store and bought an auger. Low and behold, he managed to pull out a partially eaten apple. We tried to get the point across that apples and toys don't belong in the toilet -- only toilet paper does. We'll have to wait and see if we achieved success in that endeavor.

All things considered, Zach has done a tremendous job getting used to his new life. He now has a scooter, has tried roller blades, and has his own toy horse to play with his sisters. He is sleeping well, even though he is down to one sister sleeping on his floor each night. We are praising God for his adjustment. He is always smiling and seems to roll with whatever comes his way.

We went to church on Sunday and he was overwhelmed with the reception. We are so thankful for the joy with which he was received. The kids in his Sunday school class were so excited that he was joining them. It truly blessed my heart that they were so eager to get to know him. We are blessed with a wonderful church family.

The girls are doing a great job helping him get to know everything. Eliza has taken it upon herself to listen to our Chinese language CDs to try to learn more words to communicate with her new brother. They are getting him acquainted with the other kids in the neighborhood and he seems to be fitting right in.

Here are some pictures of his first days at home. Thanks to everyone for your encouragement and your enthusiasm in following our journey.

We're Home!

I am sorry for taking so long to let you know we have arrived safe and sound and all is so good! Our flights were uneventful and Zach was a great traveler. He slept at least 6 hours of the last leg of our flight. We left Guangzhou at 8:15 a.m. and arrived in Tokyo at about 2:00 (local time). We left Tokyo at 3:25 p.m. and arrived in Minneapolis at 11:45 a.m. How I wish it really was only 3 1/2 hours. But 17 hours later, we were home!

Zach's sisters are so proud of him. They have been great, showing him all over the house, helping him find what he needs, and trying so hard to learn how to communicate. What a blessing my children are. We are adjusting well to life as a family of 6.

Zach also had a scare when he met Baylee (our 100 lb chocolate lab) for the first time. It took a while before he could see Baylee anywhere near him without screaming and being terrified. But by the time he went to bed that first night, he was calling Baylee up on the bed with him and saying "Wo ai ni, Baylee!" Too cute.

I want to say, too, that we have some really great friends and family. We drove home in a spotless van, came home to a spotless house and full cupboards and refridgerator! We have received meals and visits. I was not looking forward to grocery shopping when we came home Wednesday, or making meals, and I can't begin to say how grateful we are for all the support. It has meant so much to us on our journey. We have felt the prayers and we know that we are loved. Zachary is doing so well and we praise God for it!

Also, I want to update you on his visit with our pediatrician yesterday. We now know that his left leg is shorter and smaller (less muscle) than his right, and his left foot is slightly smaller. His left ankle doesn't flex past 90 degrees without sustained pressure. We have an appointment scheduled at Gillette on Nov 21 to find out what we should do. Dr Warren suggested that treatment options may include PT, botox treatments (to loosen muscles) or leg lengthening surgery. It's good to be getting answers instead of speculation. I have to say that, considering how quickly the doctors at the visa medical exam diagnosed this, I wonder about all the reasons we were given by the orphanage -- skin condition, femur fracture and infection -- none of which seem to have any merit. I realize that they may have had Zach's best interests at heart in trying to put the best "spin" on what was really causing his limp, but honesty is still the best policy.

We also discovered that he has a heart murmur. Dr Warren has referred us to a cardiologist. He said it could be due to a small hole, or it could be nothing. We pray it is nothing.

I wanted to post some pictures of Zach and his sisters, but in the interests of informing you all is well, I will postpone that until later...

Everything is fine!

Shiyan came to our room last night about 8:30 and said that it is all fine! We go to the Consulate today at 3:00 p.m. to take our "oath" and get Zach's visa! We are almost done! YEAH!!! (And thank you, Sara! We have really appreciated all your efforts on our behalf. You are truly a wonderful Social Worker!)

We spent our afternoon yesterday swimming (Zach really loves that) and playing at a "park," which is really just an open cement area for kids to play). We brought Zach's ball and had a great time.

We also met another family almost exactly like ours! They are adopting an 8 year old boy and have 3 kids waiting for them at home. It was such a blessing to talk to them. They, too, felt God worked through the entire process to validate their decision to bring home their son. Their son, Elijah, is deaf and their story is fascinating. They live in Colorado and she has felt lead to speak to congregations about adoption.

As I listened to their story about what their son endured in the orphanage, it breaks my heart. He was abandoned at the age of 6 (perhaps he had a illness that caused his deafness). In the orphanage, he was placed with profoundly retarded children. He was abused by the other children, and even has scars on his face as a result of an attack from another child.

So, now that I am writing my last post from China, I have to share my heart, again, for the orphan.

James 1:27 : "Religion that God our father considers pure and faultless is this: to care for orphans and widows in their distress and to keep from being polluted by the world."

Fellow Christians -- How are we doing? It is wonderful to feed the hungry and house the homeless. That is important and necessary in every society. But God, in His Holy Word, specifically tells His people to care for orphans and widows. That is what He is calling "pure religion." There are over 100 million orphans (some estimates say 140 million +). What are we doing? We can't just say that giving food to the local food shelf satisfies this command of God. He absolutely tells us to do these things, too, but there is a big difference between what is said in James 1:27 and these other acts of kindness. The difference is that, in most societies, orphans and widows are the most hopeless and helpless people in the society. What can children do for themselves? They can't work (at least in ways that are moral). They can't provide for their needs. God tells His church to meet those needs but, by and large, we are not We are truly thankful for our church and their heart to be open to orphan ministry! But more churches need to do this. We need to understand that when we say that the other efforts on behalf of the needy are equivalent, orphans go hungry and orphans are left without hope. We must do both. We need to stock the food shelves. AND we need to care for the needs of orphans and widows. If the church was actually doing its job, there would not be so many orphans going hungry on the streets of Manila. There would not be so many children in orphanages in Russia, China, South America and Africa. There really are so many ways we can reach these precious children for Christ. Missionaries do wonderful work. But there are not enough of them to reach this massive number. Foster parents can make a huge impact on every child that comes into their home. Again, there are not enough people stepping up to take on this responsibility. Many foster homes are filled to capacity.

And then there is adoption. Children like Zach and Elijah needs homes as much as the most adorable infant who is waiting for a home. They have experienced a great deal of rejection in their short lives. When we asked Maddie, who was the biggest advocate in our family to adopt Zach, why we should do that she simply said "train up a child in the way he should go" (and in the end he will not turn from it). This is our 10 year old daughter, quoting God's Word about the importance of what a Christian family can do for a child -- any child they choose to love and cherish the way God intended for them to be loved and cherished. When Christians adopt orphans, these children are given the greatest hope we have to give. They are trained in God's Word and told about, and shown through our actions on a daily basis, the work Christ did for them.

Thanks for "listening."

"Famous" red couch photo!

Sunday evening we took the photo that just about every family adopting from China takes -- a picture of the children being adopted in your group on the red couch in the White Swan Hotel. So, here is Zach with the other Children of Promise babies in our group, and one of Zach with the boys in our group.

Steve and Zach also spent time in the pool yesterday. Zach loves swimming but is not sure about venturing on his own in the water. It is pretty cold in the pool, but since he loves it, they will swim (ba-ba braves the cold, ma-ma does not).

We will find out at noon today if there is any problems with our paperwork that needs to be dealt with. Our guide has assured us that if there are problems it will be fixed very simply by getting a different homestudy addendum from Bethany. We are in capable hands!

During this trip we have been given so many different reasons for Zach's limp (our guide even called the orphanage a couple of times yesterday and was told by them this time that it is due to an infection!). We are not sure what to believe as far as a cause. But in all of this there is one major fact that has not changed -- Zach simply limps. No matter what we finally discover as the cause, none of the reasons we have been given change his "disability." His limp will not get worse. It will probably get better with physical therapy. Even if it doesn't change, so what? We never thought we were adopting a soccer star.

He is, however, a great kid, with a great personality! He is an inquisitive boy who loves to take things apart (we will have to be careful what he gets into when we get home), and put things together. He loves cars and he loves to wrestle. He is a boy who is excited to have a mom and a dad and some sisters he has yet to meet. He deserves what every kid deserves -- LOVE, and home and a family. Part of the problem is that we are afraid to adopt children that need homes because no one can guarantee that they will be perfect. And if they are not perfect then we somehow think they don't deserve a home with us. Too many children are without homes because we let fear stop us from accepting an incredible blessing.