As we count down the last days before traveling to bring home our precious son, I have obviously been thinking a great deal about the changes and challenges coming our way. We are so thankful for all the family and friends who are supportive of our decision to bring Zach home. We could never say enough how much it means when others share in our excitement.
We do know that those close to us are concerned about the difficulties we may face in the coming days, months and even years. We understand that adopting an older child brings a different climate to our home. It is wonderful how beautifully Katie blended into our family. She was only 10 months old when we brought her home and she had spent those months in foster care. She had no problems with attachment. Zach may. We know that. We can't say we know what is coming, because no one knows how each individual child will handle the (huge) transition from institutionalization to family life.
One thing that has become very clear to me is that adopting an older child brings fear to many because of the unknowns and potential difficulties involved, even among families that will readily consider adoption for their family. It never ocurred to us that this adoption process would bring us an 8 year old boy. However, it was clear to us that this is what God had planned for our family all along. Since that is the case, we know that He is with us in this adoption. While we don't know what challenges are ahead, we DO know that God will get us through. We trust in a God who cares about us. We trust in a God who cares about Zachary. We rejoice in His love for all of us, because it is that love that has brought us to this point.
Something for everyone to consider is that there are no guarantees that biological children will not give you grey hair. We may be blessed with children who do everything right and well. Or we may be blessed with children that bring challenges and trials. Either way, they are valued by you and you will do what you can to help them through their difficult times. Zachary is our child as much as Eliza, Madeline or Katelin are. Therefore, God has called us to be there for him to help him through the difficult times.
The most important aspect of adopting an older child that I want everyone to understand is that we are choosing to follow God in this decision. We choose to do that despite the unknowns. We choose to do that despite the fact that we are going beyond our comfort zone. We choose to do that despite the fact that we probably have trials ahead. Why? Because Zachary has infinite value in our eyes. Zachary is a precious 8 year old boy who has probably not known what it is like to be loved unconditionally. He has been through many transitions in his short life and we are putting aside our own comforts to make sure that this child, valued by God, receives the love all children DESERVE! We can't say no simply because we are uncomfortable about it. This is the child God has chosen for us and we will be blessed beyond measure by adding Zachary to our family.
If God is calling you to consider adopting an older child, don't say no out of fear. The child He is calling you to is infinitely more important than your comfort level.
Monday, September 24, 2007
Thursday, September 20, 2007
What a difference a day makes
On Tuesday, we made final decisions on which flights to purchase and to leave the girls home. My sister also decided to remain home to help care for the girls (bless her heart!). We were leaving on Oct 9 and returning on Oct 24. On Wednesday, I had a meeting with our SW to go over paperwork and she started the meeting by telling me she just got off the phone with the China coordinator in Grand Rapids. They were hoping we purchased adoption fares...
Apparently, Liaoning now requires families to be in province for 10 days rather than the standard 5. That means, in order to make our Consulate Appointment on Oct 22 We need to be in Shenyang, the capital of Liaoning province, no later than noon on Oct 10. In order to make that, we need to fly out no later than the 8th. However, there is not a flight out on the 8th that guarantees we will be in province when we need to be. Therefore, we are now leaving on Sunday, Oct 7. We will fly to Beijing, arriving about 9:30 p.m. and overnight there. We will catch a flight out the next day, the 9th, around 3:00 p.m. to Shenyang, putting us there in good time to make our deadline. We will not tour Beijing at all.
It is a wonderful thing when God shows you why he asked you to make a difficult decision you did not want to make. He has given us a reason to be thankful we chose not to bring the girls. If we had, we would have bought non-adoption fare tickets (much cheaper) that would have steep penalties for changes. My sister would have paid even more with the penalties for a trip that already was more than she expected, and she would have been gone even longer from work, and she would not have seen the part of China she was probably most looking forward to -- everything in Beijing. The girls would have missed more school.
So, what a difference in our travel plans a day has made. It is too bad that we will miss sightseeing in Beijing and meeting up with our Bethany travel group there. But, as Steve said "that's not why we are going to China." We will still get a chance to be with the group in Guangzhou. But the best part is that we will have Zach on the 10th (most likely) or the 11th (rather than the 14th/15th)! We will have him for 2 weeks while in China!
God is good. God has plans that are perfect.
Apparently, Liaoning now requires families to be in province for 10 days rather than the standard 5. That means, in order to make our Consulate Appointment on Oct 22 We need to be in Shenyang, the capital of Liaoning province, no later than noon on Oct 10. In order to make that, we need to fly out no later than the 8th. However, there is not a flight out on the 8th that guarantees we will be in province when we need to be. Therefore, we are now leaving on Sunday, Oct 7. We will fly to Beijing, arriving about 9:30 p.m. and overnight there. We will catch a flight out the next day, the 9th, around 3:00 p.m. to Shenyang, putting us there in good time to make our deadline. We will not tour Beijing at all.
It is a wonderful thing when God shows you why he asked you to make a difficult decision you did not want to make. He has given us a reason to be thankful we chose not to bring the girls. If we had, we would have bought non-adoption fare tickets (much cheaper) that would have steep penalties for changes. My sister would have paid even more with the penalties for a trip that already was more than she expected, and she would have been gone even longer from work, and she would not have seen the part of China she was probably most looking forward to -- everything in Beijing. The girls would have missed more school.
So, what a difference in our travel plans a day has made. It is too bad that we will miss sightseeing in Beijing and meeting up with our Bethany travel group there. But, as Steve said "that's not why we are going to China." We will still get a chance to be with the group in Guangzhou. But the best part is that we will have Zach on the 10th (most likely) or the 11th (rather than the 14th/15th)! We will have him for 2 weeks while in China!
God is good. God has plans that are perfect.
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
We have our TA!
Our Travel Approval arrived yesterday! Our wonderful Social Worker was exactly right with her estimates for travel. We will leave on October 9 and come home on October 24. We will be in province before noon on October 14 so we may receive Zachary that day, or on the 15th. We'll know more about that when we receive the in China travel plans. We can start packing now!
On a sad note, we have decided not to bring the girls. When we received the cost for airfare and an estimate for the in China expenses, it was going to be about $4000/5000 more than we planned on. I cried and had a hard time with the decision, but now that it has been made, I have to say that I recognize the positive aspects of traveling without the girls. It is possible that Zach may need that time alone with just Steve and me without sharing us with his sisters. We don't know how he will respond to us. I also spoke to an acquaintance who traveled to bring home her 11 year old daughter from Ethiopia. They brought along their other daughter hoping that the two would get a good start on their relationship, but it didn't turn out as they had planned, and Rachel didn't enjoy the trip which made it harder on them. I needed to hear that today, as I feel badly about the decision.
I am also looking forward to the time in Beijing with Steve. We don't have that opportunity very often and it's very possible we may not have it again for a while!
We are thrilled to have dates. We are excited to get started on the final leg of the journey to bring home our precious son. Not one part of this adoption has been the way "I" planned, but I am beyond excited at the way it is working out.
On a sad note, we have decided not to bring the girls. When we received the cost for airfare and an estimate for the in China expenses, it was going to be about $4000/5000 more than we planned on. I cried and had a hard time with the decision, but now that it has been made, I have to say that I recognize the positive aspects of traveling without the girls. It is possible that Zach may need that time alone with just Steve and me without sharing us with his sisters. We don't know how he will respond to us. I also spoke to an acquaintance who traveled to bring home her 11 year old daughter from Ethiopia. They brought along their other daughter hoping that the two would get a good start on their relationship, but it didn't turn out as they had planned, and Rachel didn't enjoy the trip which made it harder on them. I needed to hear that today, as I feel badly about the decision.
I am also looking forward to the time in Beijing with Steve. We don't have that opportunity very often and it's very possible we may not have it again for a while!
We are thrilled to have dates. We are excited to get started on the final leg of the journey to bring home our precious son. Not one part of this adoption has been the way "I" planned, but I am beyond excited at the way it is working out.
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
Still waiting and completing tasks
We are still waiting to hear from China when we can travel for Zach. In the meantime, the bunk bed and loft have been constructed (thanks Nic!) and painted (thanks Bernie!). Katie is now in her lower bunk bed in the same room as her sisters. YEAH! I am currently in the process of painting Zach's bedroom. We have decided on two white walls, a navy wall and a red wall. This will make it perfect for decorating in Twins motif, which is only fitting for Steve's son, after all! I don't know what our family will do if Zach does not turn out to be a baseball fan...
Next Tuesday evening, Patti, Natasha and Megan are hosting a shower in Zachary's honor at our church. It is so wonderful that they are willing to do that for us. We do need a lot in order to add a boy to our household of princesses!
Well, we hope to hear this week or next about our travel dates. So, until then, thanks for visiting!
Next Tuesday evening, Patti, Natasha and Megan are hosting a shower in Zachary's honor at our church. It is so wonderful that they are willing to do that for us. We do need a lot in order to add a boy to our household of princesses!
Well, we hope to hear this week or next about our travel dates. So, until then, thanks for visiting!
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