As with every Thanksgiving, I can say that I am thankful for so many things. First and foremost, I am thankful for a God who loves me so much that He sent His son, Jesus, to die for me that I may have eternal life by believing in Him.
But, this Thanksgiving, I am thankful for something else that many would think odd -- I am thankful that God allowed the fact that Zach has very mild case of Cerebral Palsy to be kept from his referral paperwork.
If that term had been on his paperwork, we likely would not have requested to be matched with him and would have missed out on bringing home a wonderful son. We are human beings with a natural fear of the unknown. Cerebral Palsy is a term that people associate with severly disabled people, only because it is the severe cases that we recognize. I never knew much about the disorder, and still don't. But now, I will be finding out more. I do know that CP contains a vast spectrum of ways it affects people. Some are more severly affected, others like Zach have minimal affectation. But one thing that is important for everyone to realize is that it is not a progressive disorder. The damage to his brain was done at birth (or shortly after) and will not continue to get worse. Zach's disability has not changed, he still has a limp. That is what we knew at the time we requested him, and that is still his disability. The only thing that has changed is that we have a defined reason for that limp. We also now have a course of action to help him walk better and get the most out of the muscle function he has.
As I think about why I would have allowed fear to keep me from requesting Zach, I have to acknowledge some attitudes in me that are not right. Do I think that Zach, because he has a disability, is less worthy of a home with me? Do I think that Zach, because he has a disability, is not worth the time, money, effort made to get him the medical attention he deserves? Do I think that Zach, because he has a disability, is less deserving of the resources with which God has blessed me? Do I think that Zach, because he has a disability, is not worth sharing what we have? These are powerfully convicting questions. God allowed this information to be withheld, because He knows we are human and sinful. I pray that others, presented with the same opportunity, will be able to see these children for what they are -- gifts given by God, deserving of all we have to offer them. That includes our time, money, any other resources we have available to us. God did not give us what we have so that we could spend it all on ourselves, buying luxuries and saving for a wonderful retirement. Too often, we think that His blessings to us are our reward, rather than our responsibility. He gave it to us to share with those who have needs. He gave it to us so that we could spread his love -- that is our responsibility as Christians. We can't do that very well if we keep that with which He has blessed us.
When Zach went to the doctor yesterday, the interpreter was unable to be there. The appointment was running late, even though our appointment was at 8:45 a.m. The doctor was apparently IN A LECTURE!!! I am still frustrated with the idea that a lecture comes before seeing patients that have confirmed appointments. He was over an hour late for our appointment because we were the 2nd appointment of the day. By that time, Zach was very upset and started crying. We tried to console him. After a few minutes, he made a sawing motion across his leg. We were devastated to realize that he thought we were going to have his leg cut off! Poor guy, no wonder he was crying! A child's imagination is a powerful thing. By the end of the visit, he was happier when he realized he was able to keep his leg. He went home and gave me and each of his sisters an exam, complete with x-rays (using his clock/radio as the camera, pointing it in our direction, and turning the music on and off) and range of motion tests on their legs.
Through all of this, I also have a new perspective on thankfulness. When I see Zach's pure enjoyment of things we take for granted, I am reminded of how much we have to be thankful for. We had a slight dusting of snow last night. I remembered that I had not bought boots for him yet so I thought I should take care of that. When Maddie gave him the boots, he smiled a huge smile, put them on and didn't take them off until bedtime. He put them in his cubby right by his bed and the first thing he did when he awoke this morning was get dressed, put them on and go outside to play. He used the wagon the kids have to move stuff around the back yard. He remembered one of his favorite movies, Home Alone, and how Kevin used the sled to slide down the stairs and into the front yard. He took our sled and slid down the deck stairs. He is simply enjoying the freedom to play. He is using his wonderful child's imagination to have fun in a way that was probably not possible before -- on his own, doing what he wants to do.
I am thankful for my family. I am thankful for Zach, and for all of our girls and their hearts to bring home a brother. We are learning so much about thankfulness through this experience.
Thursday, November 22, 2007
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
Praising God for a good cardiologist report!
We are so excited! We were in to see a cardiologist on Friday to check up on Zach's heart murmur and the doctor said that his heart is "perfect!" He does have a murmur (I guess I still don't know exactly what causes that), but apparently 50% of kids his age have a murmur. I had no idea! She also said that rather than kids outgrowing a murmur it is probably more likely that, as they grow, their heart gets farther away from the chest wall so the murmur is no longer detectable with a stethoscope. She also said that a murmur sounds much louder when the patient is anxious (yep, he was scared!)
Zach did NOT like the EKG (I think that was what it was...) or the ultra sound. Even with an interpreter telling him it won't hurt, it looks scary. Anyway, we are thankful to have one medical concern scratched off of our list. Praise God!
Tomorrow, we will go to Gillette to have his limp evaluated. We are looking forward to finally having some answers to this mystery!
To prepare for the visit, we had Mrs Wu ask him to please answer the interpreter's questions. He gets really shy and I am sure he is nervous when he goes to these appointments, so he hardly says a word to the interpreters that we have meeting us at these appointments. Some questions are difficult to answer without his input. Not knowing his history like most parents would does make it interesting. So please pray for answers to the question "What has caused Zach's limp?" It may be simply that one leg is shorter (that would almost be too easy, but would be enough for me!). But, realistically, there may be an underlying reason the leg is shorter that needs to be addressed, too. Whatever it is, we just want to know!
Zach did NOT like the EKG (I think that was what it was...) or the ultra sound. Even with an interpreter telling him it won't hurt, it looks scary. Anyway, we are thankful to have one medical concern scratched off of our list. Praise God!
Tomorrow, we will go to Gillette to have his limp evaluated. We are looking forward to finally having some answers to this mystery!
To prepare for the visit, we had Mrs Wu ask him to please answer the interpreter's questions. He gets really shy and I am sure he is nervous when he goes to these appointments, so he hardly says a word to the interpreters that we have meeting us at these appointments. Some questions are difficult to answer without his input. Not knowing his history like most parents would does make it interesting. So please pray for answers to the question "What has caused Zach's limp?" It may be simply that one leg is shorter (that would almost be too easy, but would be enough for me!). But, realistically, there may be an underlying reason the leg is shorter that needs to be addressed, too. Whatever it is, we just want to know!
Wednesday, November 14, 2007
So much to report!
Well, again I am sorry to take so long between posts. There has been so much to say, and I wanted to post pictures of the most important event (Zach started school!), but I can't find my camera! I have a feeling Zach, who loves electronic equipment, may have found a place for it (everything has a place you know ;-). Hopefully I will find the camera and post the pictures but, in the meantime, I want to tell you how well everything is going!
As I said, Zach started school. For those that don't know, our girls attend a charter school. There is a waiting list of over 1500 to get into this school. They do give preference to siblings, but even still, Zach is #11 on the sibling waiting list for his grade. I have to say, though, that we probably would have sent him to our local elementary school anyway. They have an ESL program there and God provided for Zach's needs in a beautiful way -- the only ESL teacher in the entire district who speaks Mandarin Chinese is at this school! I can't tell you what a blessing that was when we found that out. Furthermore, now that we have been the beneficiaries of that blessing for over a week, I can't tell you how much this has made a difference in our decision to send him and how he has handled the transition. We may have made a different decision without this added blessing, since it would have been more of a mystery of how Zach would handle the transition to a new place where no one understands him.
We had an appointment with the principal and the ESL teacher, Mrs Wu, and they both suggested that Zach begin on November 5, and enter 2nd grade. We were very pleased because it is exactly what we wanted for him. His birthday is the end of April and he is certainly not a large kid. It will be great for him to have that extra year to get caught up. He has been adjusting beautifully to his new life and he seems to be bonding well with his entire family. We are the ones he wants to be with. We are the ones he recognizes as his ma-ma and ba-ba and sisters. So, the timing felt right. The aspect of his transition to his new surroundings that will take a lot of time to develop is language. Starting school, especially with the assistance of Mrs Wu, will get that going much more quickly and efficiently than waiting.
I stayed with him the entire first day and then Mrs Wu explained that I would be leaving him on Tuesday. He did so well on Monday that I was less apprehensive. There were several times during the first day that he went off with his class without looking back, so I let him go without me. By the end of the day, his personality was starting to show up (the class clown part, that is!). Tuesday, he was of course a little sad. The teacher (who is a graduate of Bethel and has been to China and on mission trips), recognized this and "assigned" two boys to play blocks with Zach for a half hour. How sweet is that? He was fine the rest of the day. Each day was better and better. Yesterday, even though I thought he would be sad at school since he was still feeling the effects of many vaccinations, he was smiling and laughing the entire day.
We are so thankful for his adjustment so far. We have a long road ahead, but the initial transition has gone so much better than we could have even hoped. PRAISE GOD!
We do have our moments however. Just as he needed to learn that the toilet is not equivalent to a cleaner garbage can, he also needs to learn that a Beta who lives in a vase in the bathroom is not a toy. Nor does he need his fins brushed...
Sadly, yesterday Madeline went into the bathroom only to discover that Milkshake was dead. Definately under suspicious circumstances...
Evidence -- water around the vase, a wet brush nearby, Milkshake had a gash on his side and, yes, Zach had recently been in the bathroom.
Motive -- Curiosity. Zach has never had a "pet fish" before, and could not know that it has a purpose in life.
Conclusion -- Zach would not have purposely killed the Beta, especially had he known that his sisters were attached to the fish and had he known how important Milkshake was to them.
Therefore, we found him guilty of involuntary beta-slaughter. When Steve tried to "ask" him if he put the brush in the bowl, Zach nodded, and shrugged.
We are thankful for Mrs Wu who can explain to him that when Milkshake is replaced with a new Beta he can't put anything in the vase, including his hands, but especially hairbrushes!
As I said, Zach started school. For those that don't know, our girls attend a charter school. There is a waiting list of over 1500 to get into this school. They do give preference to siblings, but even still, Zach is #11 on the sibling waiting list for his grade. I have to say, though, that we probably would have sent him to our local elementary school anyway. They have an ESL program there and God provided for Zach's needs in a beautiful way -- the only ESL teacher in the entire district who speaks Mandarin Chinese is at this school! I can't tell you what a blessing that was when we found that out. Furthermore, now that we have been the beneficiaries of that blessing for over a week, I can't tell you how much this has made a difference in our decision to send him and how he has handled the transition. We may have made a different decision without this added blessing, since it would have been more of a mystery of how Zach would handle the transition to a new place where no one understands him.
We had an appointment with the principal and the ESL teacher, Mrs Wu, and they both suggested that Zach begin on November 5, and enter 2nd grade. We were very pleased because it is exactly what we wanted for him. His birthday is the end of April and he is certainly not a large kid. It will be great for him to have that extra year to get caught up. He has been adjusting beautifully to his new life and he seems to be bonding well with his entire family. We are the ones he wants to be with. We are the ones he recognizes as his ma-ma and ba-ba and sisters. So, the timing felt right. The aspect of his transition to his new surroundings that will take a lot of time to develop is language. Starting school, especially with the assistance of Mrs Wu, will get that going much more quickly and efficiently than waiting.
I stayed with him the entire first day and then Mrs Wu explained that I would be leaving him on Tuesday. He did so well on Monday that I was less apprehensive. There were several times during the first day that he went off with his class without looking back, so I let him go without me. By the end of the day, his personality was starting to show up (the class clown part, that is!). Tuesday, he was of course a little sad. The teacher (who is a graduate of Bethel and has been to China and on mission trips), recognized this and "assigned" two boys to play blocks with Zach for a half hour. How sweet is that? He was fine the rest of the day. Each day was better and better. Yesterday, even though I thought he would be sad at school since he was still feeling the effects of many vaccinations, he was smiling and laughing the entire day.
We are so thankful for his adjustment so far. We have a long road ahead, but the initial transition has gone so much better than we could have even hoped. PRAISE GOD!
We do have our moments however. Just as he needed to learn that the toilet is not equivalent to a cleaner garbage can, he also needs to learn that a Beta who lives in a vase in the bathroom is not a toy. Nor does he need his fins brushed...
Sadly, yesterday Madeline went into the bathroom only to discover that Milkshake was dead. Definately under suspicious circumstances...
Evidence -- water around the vase, a wet brush nearby, Milkshake had a gash on his side and, yes, Zach had recently been in the bathroom.
Motive -- Curiosity. Zach has never had a "pet fish" before, and could not know that it has a purpose in life.
Conclusion -- Zach would not have purposely killed the Beta, especially had he known that his sisters were attached to the fish and had he known how important Milkshake was to them.
Therefore, we found him guilty of involuntary beta-slaughter. When Steve tried to "ask" him if he put the brush in the bowl, Zach nodded, and shrugged.
We are thankful for Mrs Wu who can explain to him that when Milkshake is replaced with a new Beta he can't put anything in the vase, including his hands, but especially hairbrushes!
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