I am truly thankful.

As with every Thanksgiving, I can say that I am thankful for so many things. First and foremost, I am thankful for a God who loves me so much that He sent His son, Jesus, to die for me that I may have eternal life by believing in Him.

But, this Thanksgiving, I am thankful for something else that many would think odd -- I am thankful that God allowed the fact that Zach has very mild case of Cerebral Palsy to be kept from his referral paperwork.

If that term had been on his paperwork, we likely would not have requested to be matched with him and would have missed out on bringing home a wonderful son. We are human beings with a natural fear of the unknown. Cerebral Palsy is a term that people associate with severly disabled people, only because it is the severe cases that we recognize. I never knew much about the disorder, and still don't. But now, I will be finding out more. I do know that CP contains a vast spectrum of ways it affects people. Some are more severly affected, others like Zach have minimal affectation. But one thing that is important for everyone to realize is that it is not a progressive disorder. The damage to his brain was done at birth (or shortly after) and will not continue to get worse. Zach's disability has not changed, he still has a limp. That is what we knew at the time we requested him, and that is still his disability. The only thing that has changed is that we have a defined reason for that limp. We also now have a course of action to help him walk better and get the most out of the muscle function he has.

As I think about why I would have allowed fear to keep me from requesting Zach, I have to acknowledge some attitudes in me that are not right. Do I think that Zach, because he has a disability, is less worthy of a home with me? Do I think that Zach, because he has a disability, is not worth the time, money, effort made to get him the medical attention he deserves? Do I think that Zach, because he has a disability, is less deserving of the resources with which God has blessed me? Do I think that Zach, because he has a disability, is not worth sharing what we have? These are powerfully convicting questions. God allowed this information to be withheld, because He knows we are human and sinful. I pray that others, presented with the same opportunity, will be able to see these children for what they are -- gifts given by God, deserving of all we have to offer them. That includes our time, money, any other resources we have available to us. God did not give us what we have so that we could spend it all on ourselves, buying luxuries and saving for a wonderful retirement. Too often, we think that His blessings to us are our reward, rather than our responsibility. He gave it to us to share with those who have needs. He gave it to us so that we could spread his love -- that is our responsibility as Christians. We can't do that very well if we keep that with which He has blessed us.

When Zach went to the doctor yesterday, the interpreter was unable to be there. The appointment was running late, even though our appointment was at 8:45 a.m. The doctor was apparently IN A LECTURE!!! I am still frustrated with the idea that a lecture comes before seeing patients that have confirmed appointments. He was over an hour late for our appointment because we were the 2nd appointment of the day. By that time, Zach was very upset and started crying. We tried to console him. After a few minutes, he made a sawing motion across his leg. We were devastated to realize that he thought we were going to have his leg cut off! Poor guy, no wonder he was crying! A child's imagination is a powerful thing. By the end of the visit, he was happier when he realized he was able to keep his leg. He went home and gave me and each of his sisters an exam, complete with x-rays (using his clock/radio as the camera, pointing it in our direction, and turning the music on and off) and range of motion tests on their legs.

Through all of this, I also have a new perspective on thankfulness. When I see Zach's pure enjoyment of things we take for granted, I am reminded of how much we have to be thankful for. We had a slight dusting of snow last night. I remembered that I had not bought boots for him yet so I thought I should take care of that. When Maddie gave him the boots, he smiled a huge smile, put them on and didn't take them off until bedtime. He put them in his cubby right by his bed and the first thing he did when he awoke this morning was get dressed, put them on and go outside to play. He used the wagon the kids have to move stuff around the back yard. He remembered one of his favorite movies, Home Alone, and how Kevin used the sled to slide down the stairs and into the front yard. He took our sled and slid down the deck stairs. He is simply enjoying the freedom to play. He is using his wonderful child's imagination to have fun in a way that was probably not possible before -- on his own, doing what he wants to do.

I am thankful for my family. I am thankful for Zach, and for all of our girls and their hearts to bring home a brother. We are learning so much about thankfulness through this experience.