ADOPTION, AS AN INSTITUTION, BECAME NECESSARY AS A RESULT OF THE FALL

I am always thinking about adoption. Out of necessity, certainly, it comes to mind considering our family makeup. But also out of concern for the children available for adoption and those families built using adoption. So many topics within the subject are controversial. Even adoption itself is controversial. There are many who think adoption is wrong, even within the Christian community. They think that children are to be raised by biological parents, period. If that can't happen (as with "true" orphans), they need to stay within the extended family, but must never go outside the culture. In the Christian community there are those on the fringe who think that adoption invites generational sin into a family, from the biological family of the adopted child. Whatever side people are on, they are generally firmly set in their opinion.

What I have realized is that the institution of adoption is a necessary result of the fall of man in the Garden of Eden.

God, Himself, envisioned adoption. It was His plan for redemption for the fallen human race. We are told in Scripture that God "predestined us to be adopted as sons" from the beginning of time. Adoption is His idea. It is His way of bringing those who recognize that they need Him as a Father into His family. In adopting us, we are not second class citizens. We are co-heirs with Christ. Adoption is the beautiful way God chose to build His family.

It is also a beautiful way for us to build ours.

However, it is only because we are fallen as a result of sin in the garden that we need God to adopt us, and that children need to be adopted in order to have an earthly family. Think about it. Why are children available for adoption?

First, there are "true" orphans; those whose parents have died. Death entered the human picture with the fall in the garden. Until that time, death was not a part of the plan for Adam and Eve and their decendents.

Second, children are available to be adopted because a woman suffered rape or incest, resulting in the birth of a child they don't feel able to parent. Again, because of the fall of man.

Then, after that, we have a number of different reasons, some the same, some completely different in each situation. We have people who have biological children that they do not feel they can parent, and they decide to relinquish their parental rights to their child. The most common situation is when two unmarried people, in their lust, make a decision that results in an "unwanted" pregnancy. Yes, our sinful, fallen nature is at work. Many times, the mother is young, immature, not financially able to care for herself, let alone a child. A decision must be made about what will happen to that child. If abortion is not a choice (praise God when that happens), these people must decide what is best for them and the child.

Sometimes, a child becomes available for adoption after the child is older and has been through very difficult times in their family. The parents are determined to be unfit and the child is taken from them. Usually for neglect, abuse or other traumatic situations for the child. Oh, the fall of man is hard at work in these situations.

Then, there is the child available for adoption because an adoptive family determines that they, for a variety of reasons, can't parent this child. This is the most controversial. Sadly, these children are usually the product of past home lives so terrible that have caused them to become terrors to their new families. If you can't see the sin nature at work in this situation, you aren't being realistic.

As I consider each of these situations, I realize that there is no one way to view the relinquishment of children. There is no right or wrong answer that will work in every situation. No one can sit at a desk with the family's information and say relinquishment is sinful, or the right answer. Every relinquishment is different resulting from different circumstances.

I have known stories of the relinquishment of adoptive children that, were I in their shoes, I have a feeling I would make the same choice. Other situations, I am pretty sure are the result of selfishness. Thankfully, I am not their judge. It's too hard a job for anyone but Christ.

What I do know, is that there are relinquishments made by young, single women, that are good decisions; both for the child and the mother/father. There are also some that are made with complete selfishness. The mother or father is mature enough and financially able to accept the responsiblity for their choice that caused this child to be created. Their reasons for relinquishing are simply a lack of desire to give up dreams, or the financial resources that raising a child would bring. No choice is automatically right or wrong; the circumstances and the hearts of those involved are going to be judged by the only one able to make that call.

The same goes for relinquishment of adopted children. I know many think this is always wrong. I used to be one of those. But, I do know that if relinquishment can be the right choice for a biological child, that there are times that it is the right choice for an adopted child. We are products of a fallen world. Somewhere along the line, a poor decision was made, or parents died, and a child was left without a family. This fact alone leaves stereotyping out of the question. The scars of this may leave a child unable to be cared for by any but those capable of handling their particular needs. If newborns should be relinquished in certain situations to have their needs met, then certainly it can be true in the case of an adopted child.

Whether the adoptive parents relinquished with their own desires in mind (i.e. the desire for less trouble/difficulty, more peace or a more compliant child, etc), or the very real needs of the child to have a home where they can succeed and be cared for in a more complete way, is for them to know, and something for which they will be accountable to God. Not me.

The fact remains, though, that every single child deserves a home and family that loves them unconditionally, as God loves us. That was His plan for us in bringing us to His family, and that remains His plan for children here on earth. That is why He COMMANDS us to care for orphans. Yes, they deserve to be loved. They are treasures whether they are difficult, or not. They are each unique and special. They are a gift.